I Just Need You - J. Nathan Page 0,61
were able to sneak in and grab me while I was playing in the game room. I screamed and tried to fight them, but they were stronger than me. My father came barging in with a gun, and I’d never been more relieved in my entire life. I just knew he was going to save the day like my favorite superheroes. The problem was, he didn’t really know how to use a gun. He tried to fire it, but the safety was still on. The men wasted no time, shooting him dead.”
A sharp breath caught in my throat.
“My mom heard the gunfire and ran in. They turned their guns on her and shot her too.”
“Oh, Tristan.”
“When the men realized two dead people weren’t going to pay them ransom, they fled the scene. And do you know what I did?” He stared at me, awaiting my reply.
For once, I didn’t have one.
“Nothing,” he said. “I did absolutely nothing.”
“You were nine,” I said, reeling from the heartbreaking story he shared.
“But I should have done something.”
“You were nine,” I repeated. “You were in shock.”
He closed his eyes, pained by the recollection of that day.
I hoped to God tears didn’t glaze his eyes when they reopened, because all I could see in that moment was Tristan at nine, terrified and alone with his dead parents on the floor in front of him. My stomach clenched, unsure how I would ever look at him the same way again. “I’m so sorry you lost your parents. That is not something anyone should have to endure, especially at nine years old,” I said softly.
He nodded and his eyes finally opened, devoid of tears.
“I can’t even begin to imagine your nightmares.”
“Night-mare. The same one every night. Me frozen to the floor while my parents are murdered.”
I wrapped my arms around him and held on, tucking my head beneath his chin. I didn’t know if I was doing it for his benefit or if I needed the comfort too. It wasn’t fair he’d lost his parents in such a horrific way. It wasn’t fair he relived that day every time he slept. It wasn’t fair that he felt like he was to blame. It wasn’t fair that he had to endure any of this alone.
“That’s why you wanted me to learn how to shoot a gun,” I said, realizing he didn’t want what happened to his father to happen to me.
He nodded.
A long stretch of silence passed between us. So many thoughts raced through my brain mixed with so much sympathy for nine-year-old Tristan—and twenty-five-year-old Tristan. “Who did you live with after?”
“My grandfather for a short time. When he realized I wasn’t dealing well with their deaths, he shipped me off to military school.”
I swallowed, realizing it’s where he likely developed his tough façade. “Did you get counseling?”
He scoffed. “There’s no such thing as counseling at military school. You don’t show emotions. You don’t talk about emotions. You fall in line or you suffer the consequences.”
“Tristan. That’s why you have the dream. You’ve never dealt with what happened.”
“I assure you, I deal with it every fucking time I close my eyes.”
“I have a counselor back home—”
“No shrinks.”
“Then, let me be the one who stops your nightmare.”
He tightened his arms around me. “I want you to be the one to stop it.”
His words shouldn’t have been breaking my heart, but they were. He was still that lost little boy, but he was locked in the body of a man.
“You said I was a superhero. But I never claimed to be one. I screw up. I say stupid things. I think I can handle everything on my own…until I can’t.”
“You’ve got me now.”
He nodded.
“Your parents were the two people shot under your watch.” It wasn’t a question, more like a realization.
“I’ll never be convinced that I couldn’t have done something.”
“Is that why you became a bodyguard?” I asked.
“It’s fucked up, right?”
I shook my head. “If it’s what you need to do, then I think it’s what you should be doing. And, you’re damn good at it.”
A long stretch of silence passed between us. I wondered what he was thinking about because my mind was whirling with all he’d told me. It definitely explained a lot about him. His initial anger with me for being what he considered careless. He’d lost the two people he loved most in this world within seconds in their own home. Anything could happen while I was out at a crowded place. It wasn’t like his fears