I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,92

the girl who’d been my first enemy at Portside: Ryan’s ex-girlfriend/fuck buddy.

Then the alarms sounded, tightening my gut. “Erin.”

She didn’t even look at Ryan. Her eyes were only for me, and I saw the sorrow. It flickered there, but it was strong. It was evident. Her eyes clouded, her eyebrows pinched together, and she frowned, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“I had no idea,” she said.

“No idea about what?”

Ryan moved forward a little, as if he wanted to shield me. “What are you talking about, Erin?”

She still didn’t look at him, but his sister did. Peach went to Erin’s other side, standing in front of her brother. She held her hand out, saying softly, “Ryan . . .”

He ignored her, barking out, “Erin!”

The door opened behind them. Music, light, and people spilled out.

“Ryan!”

“Mackenzie!”

Kirk, Cora, Nick, and Pete darted down the front lawn.

Cora was unnaturally pale, and her face was streaked with tears. Once her eyes hit mine, she jerked to a stop, and I watched as she sucked in her breath. Kirk stopped too, looking toward her. He frowned and reached for her hand, but like Erin, she only had eyes for me.

She and Erin were both terrified—for me.

The guys were sending nervous looks at me, but they were more wary of Ryan.

Because . . .

Because why?

Why were they concerned about him when the girls were so scared for me?

Me.

Because of . . .

Because Ryan was protective of me, but Erin and Cora . . . the way they were looking at me, as if they pitied me and were horrified at the same time.

It’s me.

I jerked backward, hearing Willow’s voice like she was standing in front of me.

I swayed, clasping my eyes shut.

No . . .

Yes, Willow sighed. They’re going to use me to get at you.

I looked again, past everyone in front of me, and I saw her.

She was faint, like a mere reflection in the wind, wavering all around, but I saw her.

Willow was looking right at me, wearing the same dress she had on in the dream. A pink, shimmering dress, but there was no crown on her head. This time, her hair was pulled up into a braid and wrapped around her head, looking like a crown in and of itself.

But she looked alive, so alive that I heard myself exhale a ragged breath.

I blinked a few times, but she was still there.

There were no more words. She didn’t come toward me. She didn’t point inside, but I knew she was leading the way.

She wanted me to go in, and feeling her courage join mine, I grew calm. I felt ready, and I started forward.

Everyone turned then, and I heard Cora gasp.

“Holy sh—” Kirk exclaimed.

They saw her.

They honest to God saw her.

I almost faltered, my knees buckling, and then she vanished. I only felt her beside me. Her hand touched mine. More strength transferred to me, but there was also peace. Contentment. She was letting me feel everything right along with her.

The door swung open. Someone saw me coming and was ready. The music cut off, and everyone who had been standing around on the walkway turned to watch. Some were smirking. Some were laughing. Some were sad. And the pity—that seared me the most.

I didn’t want anyone’s pity, but I was getting it. I gritted my teeth. Whatever was ahead of me, I would show them I didn’t need it.

They were in the living room.

The crowd didn’t part for me when the hallway forked off to the dining room and kitchen. But it opened to the living room, where people were sitting on the couches. Others were spread out, sitting all over the floor.

They were watching a movie on a large screen. It wasn’t even the television. It had been projected onto the wall for maximum effect, and standing right to the side of it was Stephanie Witts, but she wasn’t alone.

Zoe.

Gianna.

And next to them? Duke and Willow’s ex-best friend, Serena. He had his arm around her. I turned away from them. They didn’t even deserve my attention, but Duke dropped his arm as soon as he saw me. His eyes widened, and he jerked forward a step.

“Mackenzie—”

He was already groveling. I heard it in his voice, and I leveled him with a hard look. “Don’t. Even.”

I didn’t need to ask how they got there. I looked right at Stephanie. “What’d you do? Go on my social media? Google my sister’s name?”

Her eyebrows went up, and her lips pulled back in