I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,8

in her eyes.

“Charlotte and Phillip were hoping we could talk about the children before we went to the hotel,” Grams said.

“Of course.” Mrs. Jensen touched Grams’s arm, and both couples turned down the hallway.

When they were out of earshot, Ryan said, “They’re heading for the formal dining room. That’s where Mom takes all our guests, unless she really wants to impress them. They’d go to the formal living room then. We can go back to the kitchen if you wanted to eat something.”

I hadn’t eaten all day.

That was odd. Was I trying to be like Willow? Was I trying to be close to her, or had I lost my appetite?

Robbie’s stomach grumbled, and I squeezed his shoulders gently. “Looks like we have an answer.”

Rose was in there, and it was as if she’d read Robbie’s mind. A packet of pizza rolls appeared, and it wasn’t long before my brother was stuffing them into his mouth. I lifted an eyebrow. “Didn’t you eat today?”

He paused mid-stuff and shrugged as he swallowed a bunch of them all at once. “You didn’t. I wasn’t sure if I should or not.”

Definitely not like Willow. I knew then. “You can eat any time you want. I didn’t have an appetite today.”

“Ryan, why are you acting like this?”

Peach’s question came from left field. She was almost glowering in her seat at the kitchen table. She’d followed us in and locked her gaze on her brother.

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You never act like this.” She gestured to us with a brisk motion. “All hostess and stuff. You usually can’t wait to get away from guests. You’re acting like she’s your girlfriend or something. She isn’t.”

“Shut up, P. Seriously. I’m being nice, and the reason I usually leave when we have guests is because I don’t like the guests.”

“You didn’t care when Erin came over on Sunday.”

He lifted his eyebrow. “I ate a pizza at the same table with you two, and then I left. Don’t make it something it isn’t.”

Her face got red, and if possible, her glower went up a notch. “Whatever. You’re being weird.”

“What does it matter?”

Robbie was on his second handful of pizza rolls. He was nearly through them all, and Rose must’ve noticed because she pulled out a second package. Once they were cooked, they all went on a single plate. Just for him.

“It doesn’t. It’s . . .” Peach cast me a look, chewing on her bottom lip. “It doesn’t. Never mind.”

Ryan looked as confused as I felt when he met my gaze. He shook his head, and for a moment, it was just the two of us. I knew the others were there, but they all melted away and an invisible, unbearable weight lifted from my chest. It was over as soon as it happened, but I was already yearning for the next time.

“Okay.” Mr. Jensen came into the room, rubbing his hands together. He swept a look over all of us, lingering on Robbie before falling to me. “Your grandparents are going to take you with them. I guess your mother packed some bags for you two. It’s all waiting at the suite.”

“Are my mom and dad going to be there?”

My throat burned, and I was glad Robbie had asked the question. I couldn’t bring myself to voice the words.

“Uh . . .”

And like his son the night before, Mr. Jensen gave me the answer without saying a word.

Shoving back my seat, I avoided his gaze and said to Robbie, “Come on. We gotta be strong for Grams now.”

“I don’t want to be.”

I whipped around to face him. “Robbie! Just . . . come on.”

His lip started to tremble, and I experienced instant self-hate. Taking his hand, I pulled him with me. “If you’re still hungry, we can make Grandpa stop at a drive-thru somewhere.”

I wanted to stay.

I didn’t want to have to be strong for Grams either. I didn’t want to see Grandpa struggle to keep from crying, because he too had to be strong for Grams, and I really didn’t want to think about how the last time I’d seen my mother, she’d seemed all too relieved to see me go.

I held tight to Robbie’s hand until I heard him hiss. I relaxed my hold. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t. Nothing was okay anymore.

We were halfway to the car when Ryan called my name. I looked back, stopping as Robbie kept going. Ryan was coming down the sidewalk, the house door closed behind him. Everyone else had stayed