I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,379

chance. And anyway, we have things to talk about,” he replied. He held my gaze and my breathing hitched.

I had things to apologize for. “Max, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. I’ve been an idiot and selfish and I lost all judgment when it came to JD Stanley. You did nothing wrong . . .” My words were running together; I wanted to get them all out before he had a chance to say anything that would make it harder to get them out, wanted to make him see how I understood he’d done nothing wrong. I covered my face with my hands.

“I’m the one who’s sorry.” He removed my hands from my face and threaded his fingers through mine. “We were involved and I didn’t think through the consequences of accepting your father’s ultimatum. I have no experience mixing the personal and the professional, so I didn’t think about you or your feelings. I should have.”

“It wasn’t as if we were serious, but if we had been . . .”

He squeezed my hands and heat travelled up my body. “Maybe I gave you the impression that it was just sex, but I’m not sure it was ever that for me. I want to take you out on dates, to have you here with me and Amanda. I want to talk and laugh and wake up together.” He sighed and shook his head. “I thought we had time. I missed the bit where I told you how important you were to me. I told you I’ve had zero practice at this stuff.”

My stomach twisted. “I was important?” Did that mean he’d moved on?

“Was and are,” he said. “I’m just so sorry I screwed it up.”

How was he making this so easy for me? I’d expected to have to try to convince him, talk him round.

It wasn’t too late. I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. “You didn’t. We’d made no promises to each other, and my issues with my father aren’t your battles to fight.”

“I want your battles to be my battles,” he replied.

The corners of my lips twitched. “You do?”

He nodded. “And I’m ready to make any promises you want. I want to be the man who deserves you. The man who will do anything for the woman he loves.”

I swallowed. “Loves?” I stepped toward him until our bodies were almost touching.

He shrugged. “Yeah. I love you and I need you to know. And I want you to give me a chance. I’m going to get this wrong. A lot. I haven’t had much practice—I’ll need you to stick with me.”

“Max, I’ve never trusted a man. I don’t know how to be that woman.” I’d never expected a relationship to work before, never needed it to. “You’re going to have to be patient with me, but I promise I will do my best if you give me another chance.”

“You can have a lifetime of chances,” he said. “I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t forgive you for.” His eyes were soft and I reached out and stroked his jaw. He was still breathtakingly handsome but somehow the photographs I’d seen of him before I knew him had never done him justice. They’d not seen what a beautiful soul he had, what a wonderful father he was.

I tilted my head to one side. “You know someone told me about this thing Michael Jordan once said.” I released his hands and smoothed my palms up his chest, staring up at him. “He said, ‘I’ve missed more than nine-thousand shots in my career and I’ve lost almost three-hundred games.’”

Max lifted an eyebrow.

I continued. “He said, ‘I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.’”

I lifted my shoulder in a half shrug as he slid his hands around my waist. “Some guy I’m in love with told me about it. I think he’d say that we should keep trying until we win.”

Max’s grin made my stomach swoop. “Sounds like a smart guy.” He paused, then said, “Sounds like a lucky guy.” He pulled me closer and pressed his lips against mine. “I’ve missed you so much.”

His tongue trailed along my lips before pushing in to find my tongue. I’d forgotten how urgent his mouth was, how passionate his kisses could be. With every second, my knees got weaker, my breaths got shorter, but I wanted more.

We separated, panting, our foreheads resting against each other. “I’ve missed you, too.” I slid my