I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,373

I was too frustrated to care. I hadn’t met any of Harper’s friends, didn’t know any of her hangouts. We’d existed in a perfect bubble together, and I was happy with that. Or had been. Now I just wish I’d known her better. Partly because I might know where she was, and partly because I realized now there was so much more to get to know. And I hated myself for fucking things up and missing out on it all.

“What did you do?” Scarlett asked.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what I did. I tossed her off a big pitch and she quit.” I explained everything that had happened with JD Stanley and that Charles Jayne was Harper’s father. I barely paused for breath—it felt good to get it out. How I hadn’t taken Harper’s feelings into account when I told her she was off the team. Whenever clients made team change requests, I’d never had to concern myself with the feelings of the person receiving the news. It was just business. But Charles Jayne’s decision to cut Harper was personal. And I should have realized that. The fact I’d accepted his ultimatum so easily made me feel uneasy—a little dirty. I was sure I didn’t want to do business with a man who made such cold decisions in relation to his daughter. To me, Amanda would come ahead of business, my pride. Everything. I’d never not put her first. Charles Jayne wasn’t a man to be trusted.

“I feel like you’re missing an important part of the story,” Scarlett said. “I’m not sure, but you kicking an employee off the team and her quitting wouldn’t normally get you this ruffled.”

I didn’t know what to say. I’d never discussed women with my sisters. Never talked about heartache or discussed a fight with a girlfriend—because I’d never experienced any of those things. I picked up the bottle of Pinot Noir Violet had left sitting on the counter and topped up my wine, impatient to get the glass as full as possible.

“You like her?” Violet asked.

I nodded.

“Finally,” Scarlett said, almost to herself.

“And was it reciprocated?” Violet asked.

I took a deep breath. Was it? Things had been good between us, I thought. “How could I tell?”

Violet’s smile lit up her face as if she’d been waiting for this conversation her whole life. “Well, does she maintain eye contact with you? Does she—”

“Jesus, Violet, do you know our brother at all? The man’s not a monk; he knows when women want him. He’s asking how does he know if she has feelings. Am I right?” Scarlett asked.

I nodded. “Yes.” This was excruciating. I was rarely in a position where Scarlett had more of a handle on the conversation than I did.

“So you were sleeping together?” Violet asked.

Scarlett slapped her hand on the counter. “Try to keep up.”

“What?” Violet shrieked. “No one told me he was sleeping with her. You knew?”

“I suspected.”

“You did not,” I said. “You say that now, but you knew nothing.”

“I could tell when I met her in the elevator that there was something between you two.” Scarlett shrugged. “I have a sixth sense for these things. Anyway, let’s get back to the fact that our brother has feelings for someone. I mean, this has never happened before. We need to stay focused. How long has the sex been going on?”

There was no point in suggesting I didn’t want to talk about it now—that ship had sailed. And anyway, I did want to talk about it. I needed to know if there was anything I could do. I wanted a chance to tell Harper how I felt, that I wanted her back.

“It was casual; we didn’t go out.” Did she think it had been just sex? “I should have taken her on a date or something. I was planning to talk to her about what she wanted when she came up for Amanda’s dance.”

“What, so it was a series of booty calls?” Violet asked.

Is that what it had been? Not for me, but looking at it maybe that was all it had been for her. “I’ve never really done the dating thing,” I admitted. “We live in the same building and I’m here so much of the time . . .” From the outside it did look like convenient sex. But for me, since she’d started at King & Associates, she’d had my attention like no other woman.

“Did you do things together? Cook? Hang out without the sex?” Violet asked.

I winced. “We got takeout,