I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,274

right back.

It’s me or him when it comes to Robin. “Between the two of us, she’ll choose me. Always,” he says as if reading my mind. The smile stays in place as he wipes the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

He’s right. My heart beats hard at the recognition. She’d choose him. And I can’t fucking let it happen. She deserves so much more. Someone better than him.

My hands grip around his throat and at first, I feel flesh, real hot flesh that my fingers sink into, but the harder I push, the more I try to choke the life from this bastard, the less it feels real.

My vision shifts and he’s no longer in front of me. My fingers are no longer around his throat, but instead on the edge of the mirror.

“Fuck you!” he sneers and he’s back, his vicious eyes piercing into me with a threat of death and I smash my forehead against his.

Glass splinters against my forehead, it smashes around me. I hear the crack, I can fucking feel it, but when I open my eyes, he’s there staring back at me. A smile on his face as he bashes his head into mine again and again and again.

A punishing abuse until I’m standing in front of a broken mirror, clinging to the edges of it and his image fades, leaving only my reflection.

My heart races, and my head’s dizzy with pain throbbing and shooting through me.

Chapter 25

John

Twenty years ago

“Come on,” I say and my voice is low. So low. I can’t speak any louder, but she’s moving so slow. I’m afraid he’ll hear us. The keys jingle if I hold her hand. But I can’t let go of her.

My heart races, beating uncontrollably at the thought of what will happen if he catches us. If he finds out that we’re trying to escape.

He’ll kill us. I know he will. He’ll definitely kill my little bird. I can’t let that happen. I turn back to look at her over my shoulder.

Her heels dig in and scrape against the cement as she resists me, and her fingernails scratch at my wrist to let her go.

“We need to go now,” I tell her in a stern voice and her face crumples with fear. She shakes her head and her dirtied hair barely moves. Her eyes are wide with fear as she tells me, “We can’t.”

Her shoulders hunch when she hears the vicious barking of the dogs. “Close the door,” she begs me, but I refuse.

I can hear him banging on the door. I can hear my father screaming. I’m surrounded by threats, threats that are promises for me, but empty for her.

“Right now, Robin,” I say and grip her chin in my hand and look her in the eyes. “It’s now or never,” I tell her in a soft voice. My heart pains in my chest. Like nails scraping it slowly, shredding it piece by piece.

“I’m dead,” I tell her. “If I stay, I’m dead.” I only say those words for her. There’s no other choice for me.

I’ve locked my father in the cellar. He’s arrogant to think I could never slip by him. I only have one chance though. And as he rattles the door and screams at me, I nearly cower in front of her. I’m dead when he gets out, and I know he will.

The dogs I have a plan for, but she needs to go the opposite way. She needs to run without being followed.

“No, Jay,” she cries.

“We need to go now,” I tell her again and although the small girl’s expression is only one of fear, she grips my hand tightly and finally moves. I don’t give her a second chance, or myself one either. Every step is one more step away from losing her forever. One more step toward my death.

But it’s for her. And it’s worth it.

My life is so meaningless, but this gives me something.

I have to tug her wrist as we run up the cellar steps. The dogs are just outside the kitchen in the crate. The gate is closed, but they can get out. They have before. The lock on it isn’t much at all. I’ll have to hold it if I can’t find anything to shove between the handles and strengthen the lock.

I stare out of the kitchen door only for a moment, knowing it’s time to say goodbye.

“Jay, what do we do?” she asks me in a strangled voice.

“You need to