I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,257

away as I think I hear someone in the living room.

My eyes whip up to the small doorway and I wait, listening to the blood rushing in my ears. Thump, thump, thump, thump. My heart races in my chest.

I’m quick to remove the gloves, shoving them in my back pocket and waiting for whoever it is to say or do something. I anticipate them calling out her name to see if she’s home. But there’s nothing but silence until Jay appears in the doorway.

A smirk slowly lifts his lips up with a knowing glint that sparkles in his eyes.

“Fucking bastard,” I mutter under my breath. The smile widens and he walks closer to me.

“Cleaning up?” he asks me and then glances at the trash bag.

“Yeah,” I answer him and bend down to tie it off. “Just on my way out,” I tell him.

“You should go,” Jay says, his voice full of something I’ve never heard from him before. Possessiveness, jealousy even. He leans his back against the doorway, blocking part of the exit and adds, “She’s waiting for you.”

There’s an undertone to his voice that accompanies his narrowed eyes as he cracks his knuckles one by one. “You’ll have to tell me what you think of your session.”

I crack my own knuckles, mirroring him. “What I think about her, you mean?” I ask him, pushing him just slightly to see what his intentions are, to pick at the real meaning behind his question.

A rough laugh escapes his lips as he tilts his head and looks me in the eyes, crossing his arms as he shrugs. “I already know what you think of her,” he says in a low voice, almost a murmur. Like it wasn’t meant for me, which pisses me off.

“Is that right?” I ask him, feeling my blood heat and adrenaline coursing through me. It’s been a long time since we’ve gotten into it. But I can feel it coming. Maybe not today while she’s trapped at the cabin. But when she’s safe, I know it’s going to happen.

He relaxes his posture, as if coming to the same conclusion at the very same time. It does an odd thing to me and I want to bite the question back, but I can’t anymore.

“Do you love her?” I ask him.

The smile stays on his face as he answers immediately, “Of course I do. If I didn’t, I never would have let her go.”

Jay admits to what I already knew. The love between them is obvious. The thing that shocks me is how hearing the words on his lips makes me feel. Jealous.

“Then let her go again. Let her make that choice,” I tell him words I know are rational, even if what I’m feeling is anything but.

“We’re only just getting started,” Jay says as he turns to leave.

“You told me it was about her,” I yell at him as he’s leaving, letting my emotions get the best of me. My words halt his footsteps. He turns to look over his shoulders, his eyes smoldering with an intensity I’ve never seen.

“It’s all about her. It’s always been about her.”

“I find that really fucking hard to believe right now,” I spit as I take a step forward, meeting him halfway.

“Don’t forget who will take the fall for this if something happens, John,” Jay sneers my name, his eyes darkening with anger.

His threat means nothing to me; I don’t care what the consequences are anymore. He smiles at me, a wicked grin at the thought. “She’s just as much for you as she is me,” he says and I flinch. “She has something she hasn’t told you, John. Something you need to hear.”

My body freezes as I watch him step back into the small kitchen. He carelessly touches every cabinet.

“What is it?” I ask him, not sure if I believe him or if this is a mind game to get me to do what he wants. But something feels off with her. A familiarity I can’t grasp. A pull so strong that it makes me reckless.

He stops and looks back at me, a flash of fear in his expression, but only for a moment. “I want her to tell you,” he says quietly.

I shake my head; there’s nothing she could tell me that would change anything. But as I look up to tell Jay just that, he stares back at me with an expression I can’t place. He drops his eyes and stares at the linoleum kitchen floor as a moment passes,

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