I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,24

glad the guys continued giving each other shit as they sat to play Warcraft.

They weren’t watching me because of Willow, and unlike the movie night, as I sat in Ryan’s room and listened to his friends joke, I felt normal. It was small. And I knew it’d be gone soon, but I felt it, and I savored it.

“Hey! Fuck no, man!”

“Ah!”

Tom and Nick had the video controllers, and as Tom bent to the side, trying to get his car to turn all the way left, Nick jumped up and down. He bit his lip. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, and I knew at any moment the room would explode in cheers or curses—probably both.

I glanced to the door and saw Ryan watching me. He gestured with his head to follow him out, and I scooted off the bed as Nick won the race.

He dropped the controller and thrust his arms in the air in victory. “YES!”

“NO!” Tom shook his head.

Pete stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth and reached for Tom’s controller. He mumbled around a mouthful, “My turn.”

I slipped out of the room.

Ryan waited at the end of the hallway, nodding for me to keep following him.

I trailed behind. He led me down a back way to the basement. We could hear footsteps above, along with giggling.

I arched an eyebrow. “Let me guess, the female brigade is above us?”

Ryan ducked his head as he opened a refrigerator. “We’re out of drinks in the room, and I know my parents keep more booze down here. The guys will want more to drink. Peach and her friends can have the main floor.”

I gazed around, noting the more casual-looking décor. It was one large room with a living area on one side and a kitchen on the other. There was a pool table in the back, along with a basketball game, two couches, and three super-sized beanbags in front of a large television screen. Two wooden tables sat in the kitchen area.

It looked like every teenager’s dream apartment. The only things missing were a movie projector, a popcorn machine, and maybe a stage for karaoke.

Willow would’ve salivated over the room.

Ryan pulled out some more rum, and I slid onto one of the barstools.

“Is this where you guys really hang out?”

He nodded. “Tom’s too.” He looked at me. “Well, you know that.”

“Is Cora coming over?”

Ryan was done with the drinks. He moved to the cupboard and pulled out bags of chips and cookies. Then he slid some Cheetos toward me.

“That’s a negative on Cora.”

My eyebrows went up. “What do you mean?”

“She tends to avoid anywhere Erin might be.” He paused and amended, “Usually.”

Ah. I nodded. “Doesn’t want to get thrown to the wolves, huh?”

He pressed his lips together, closing the cupboard and leaning against the counter. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “Cora’s never liked to go anywhere Erin is. We didn’t know why. I knew it had to do with Erin, but Cora never explained it. I did shoot her a text, though.” He pulled out his phone from his pocket and showed me her response.

Cora: If Erin is there, hell no.

“She’s never said it so clearly like that before.” His eyes seemed to soften. “I think it’s because of what you did. I would’ve listened to her before. She just never thought I would.”

“You seemed oblivious to Erin’s bullying, so I don’t blame Cora.”

“I know.” His hands gripped the counter. “Erin and I didn’t really have a relationship. We just fooled around during a time last year, but it’s on me. I should’ve paid more attention.”

Well, that made me feel bad. I shrugged. “Give yourself a break.”

His hands relaxed.

“Most guys are idiots,” I added. “They don’t see past the boobs and smile.”

He groaned, his eyes sparking. “Thanks for that.” He began to gather the drinks and snacks.

I took what was left and slid off the stool. “No problem. I believe in realism. I like to keep my friends grounded. The more realistic they are, the more humble they seem to be.”

“You mean you squash their egos into the floor.”

“That too.”

As we headed back, Ryan turned around to use his back to open the door. Our eyes met and held, and I felt an instant sensation. It was us. No sister problems. No exes. No bullying. Nothing. Just him and me, and I let out a soft sigh before I realized it.

His eyes warmed.

I’d had this feeling before, but it was stronger this time.

I coughed, lifting my foot.