I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,147

hooks, we cast out into the water and stick the poles in the holders to wait. I settle back onto one of the benches and look out over the water. Deep blues and greens reflect the sunlight sending little bursts of light around. The cloud cover is light today, but they’re big and fluffy. I turn to point out a cloud that looks like a dinosaur, but I can’t speak. Eli stands there shirtless and my mouth waters.

Dear. God.

His body is exactly like I remember from our night together. Only now, I’m not in the dark. The sun shines on his perfect skin, giving me the most breathtaking view possible. I watch him move around the boat, securing a few things on the deck as I admire his chest. The tattoos etched on his arms, shoulder, and hip only make him look hotter. I swear that tattoos have never been sexier. My hands itch to trace the ink on his skin, the firmness of his muscles, feel his heat, and get lost in his touch.

“Come sit with me.” Eli holds his hand out, and I force myself to drag my eyes away from his body to take it. He leads me to a couch under a retractable awning and takes a seat in the corner, pulling me down next to him. It’s natural for me to rest my head on his chest, allowing the salty air and clean breeze to fill my nose.

“I’m glad you came.” His deep voice seems to vibrate through me.

“Me, too.”

“Tell me something,” he requests.

“What do you want to know?”

“Something true. I don’t get a lot of truth from people.”

A wash of sadness comes over me from his words. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be him. Constantly battling the feeling of people trying to get a piece of him in some way. He probably doesn’t get a lot of people being honest or just wanting to know him. I hate that for him. It must be lonely.

I sit up so I can look him in the eyes. “I won’t lie to you. You can ask me anything.”

He smiles and pushes himself closer to me. “Why do you keep saying you’re a mess?”

I sigh and look away. “There are a lot of things going on in my life.”

“Your ex?”

I laugh humorlessly. “I wish it were just that.”

“Heather,” Eli says my name with softness. “I want to know you. Really know you. I’m sure you know what the tabloids say about me, but that isn’t who I am.”

“Then who are you?” I would much rather hear more about him than air out my own life.

“I’m a brother, uncle, and son. My father died a few years after walking out on my mom. We were poor as hell, and I’ve done everything possible to make sure I never live like that again. Most days, I love acting more than singing, but I can’t imagine not having Four Blocks Down in my life. I’m old as hell, tired of being so damn angry at things I can’t control, and this is the first time I’ve ever had to chase a girl this fucking hard. Especially after giving her the goods.”

I let out a soft laugh and lightly slap his leg. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t do stuff like that. I don’t date. I don’t have time for men. I kind of gave up the idea of being with anyone after my ex left.”

“Me, too,” he says earnestly. “We all have our things, Heather.”

I remember a few years back there was talk of Eli getting married, but you can’t believe a thing you read. My curiosity spikes a little, and I have to swat away my inner cop who wants to interrogate him about it. “You had someone once, right?”

Eli shifts, bringing my attention fully back to him. “I don’t talk about it much. She was playing me, though. Penelope was really good at it. I found out she was screwing my former agent when I came home early from a trip to surprise her. We were dealing with some personal stuff, and instead of coming to me, she went to another man. She fucked me up pretty good.”

“I’m so sorry. That’s awful.” I squeeze his hand in solidarity.

He releases a deep breath through his nose. “I won’t lie. I had no intention of ever having more with a woman, which is probably where all the rumors about my being a player come from. I don’t