watch, almost in awe as she scoops him up in her arms, burying her face in his neck and blows raspberries right before she takes him into the bedroom and I hear her digging through her bag to get him a snack.
I’ve never. Susan never did any of that. She didn’t show our children affection freely, not even when they were toddlers. I don’t think I ever saw her scoop them in her arms when they asked for a snack. Instead, she would call for the cook or their nanny to take care of them.
Being part of this moment, it makes me realize that I missed out, that my children missed out. Guilt consumes me at the thought. How could I have allowed any of this to happen? How was I so busy working that I didn’t realize they were being starved emotionally. Did I ruin my children?
Fuck.
“Landry?” Tennessee asks, breaking my thoughts.
Lifting my eyes, I look over at her. She’s smiling, Holden gripping one of her hands, and with the other, he’s eating a granola bar. I decide right in this moment that I’m going to stop being consumed with her and I’m going to strengthen the relationship that I have with my own children, that is, as long as it’s not too late.
Chapter Thirteen
LANDRY
The email from my real estate agent confirms that my offer was accepted on the Tudor house. I send him a thank you email, then close it out. It’s been a week since I’ve been to that house, since I’ve been alone with Tennessee.
I decided to be a more present father to my already grown children. Instead of following my attraction for my young, beautiful, smart, and kind assistant. I’m not sure I am succeeding. I don’t know what I’m doing other than annoying them, especially Lucinda.
Opening a file to start working on for the day, my office door slams open. Lifting my head, I’m surprised to see all three of my children staring back at me. They file into the room, Lucinda quietly closing the door and locking it behind her.
“Dad,” Lawrence begins. “We need to talk to you. We expect answers, too.”
Flicking my gaze from each one of them, I dip my chin toward the sofa and chairs across from me. Leaning back in my chair, I arch a brow as I wait for them to get settled and get down to business.
They obviously have something on their minds and judging by the way they’re watching me, their eyes searching my face, they are really fucking serious about it, too.
“We’re concerned,” Lawrence says.
“We’re straight-up worried and scared,” Lucinda states.
Lifting my hand to my face, I rub my palm down my beard before I tilt my head to the side. “About what?” I ask.
Laurent rolls his eyes before he clears his throat. “You guys are being fucking extra,” he grunts. “Just hit us with it straight, Dad. Do you have cancer? How long do you have left to live?”
I blink. Once. Then twice. Then a third time before I throw my head back and start to laugh.
“Oh god, he’s completely lost his shit,” Lucinda cries.
Straightening my head, I shake it a few times to get the laughter to quit, then I clear my throat and face them again. “I don’t have cancer. What would make you believe that?”
They look at one another, then over to me. “Because you’ve been like really up in our business. Extra lunches, extra dinners. Showing up to hang out,” Lucinda explains. “I mean, you went shopping with me last week, on a weeknight.”
“Dad, you made an appointment in my office just to spend an hour hanging out with me,” Lawrence says.
I wonder if I should tell them the truth. Then I decide that I have to. I need to. “It dawned on me that maybe I wasn’t the father that I should have been. That maybe I wasn’t present enough in your lives. I wanted to make up for that.”
Without skipping a beat, simultaneously they all three burst out laughing. I don’t think I’ve seen all of them laugh together in years and I find myself grinning like a fool as I watch them attempt to compose themselves. I don’t mind in the slightest, even if it is at my expense.
“You were and always have been present. Always,” Lucinda announces.
“Always,” Lawrence agrees.
Laurent stands and makes his way toward my desk. He stops right in front of it, dipping his chin as he catches my eyes with his. “You’ve raised