raped after drinking all night at a party and following some random guy upstairs.
Sure. Okay.
There’s no pretending it didn’t happen anymore. By not going to the doctor, by not going to the police, I let myself live in denial and now I’m pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pressing my palm against my belly, I wonder if I can go through with this. Then my heart cracks inside of me and I wonder if I can go through with the alternative. I don’t think that I can. I’m not sure my soul could survive it.
Reaching for my phone, I call the one person that I know can guide me.
“Tenny?”
“I need to come home for a little bit, Mama.”
“You need me to drive there and get you?”
My mother always, always has my back. She has to and I have to have hers too. It’s always been the two of us, for as long as I can remember. There’s a name on my birth certificate that is listed as my father, but I don’t know him. He left before I was one and other than a few cards here and there, I don’t know anything about him.
“I can catch the bus,” I rasp. “You have to work.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be there.”
I thought I could handle life on my own. I thought I was grown up enough to make my own decisions, to be an adult. I’m not. Not even close.
Packing a bag, I head down to the bus stop as soon as possible. I have to get out of the dorm, away from the college. I have to just go.
Although I attend college in Arkansas, my hometown is only a couple hours away in Oklahoma. It was the stipulation of my mother allowing me to leave, I had to be within driving distance or a short-ish bus ride.
I’m wearing a pair of leggings, an oversized T-shirt, my long dark hair is thrown up into a messy bun on top of my head, and I put on the biggest sunglasses that I could find. I don’t need anyone to see my puffy, tear-stained face.
I just want my mama.
After buying the bus ticket, I wait for the next bus to arrive. Thankfully it doesn’t take long. I climb onto the bus, finding a seat toward the front, too afraid to sit in the back. Bringing my feet to the seat, I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my cheek against my knees as I look out the window.
My life is over as I know it.
Everything is about to change.
Everything.
No matter what I choose, nothing, absolutely nothing will be as it once was—especially my heart and soul.
Chapter One
THREE YEARS LATER
TENNESSEE
I look at the website. It’s so nice. It’s sleek and it tells me everything that I need to know about the investment banking company, Astor Investments. The most important part of the entire About Us section is the on-site daycare.
Licking my lips, I continue to click through the page, looking at picture after picture of the babies and toddlers playing in the outdoor playground, the indoor playground, learning their ABCs and playing with early development toys.
Lifting my gaze, I flick my eyes over to the sleeping toddler in the crib across the bedroom from me. This is what he needs. This is the life that I want to give him. This is why I bust my ass at school all day, and night, why I moved back home and attended college in Oklahoma.
He is the reason I will succeed.
Inhaling a deep breath, I fill out an application for the paid intern position, praying that I am not overlooked. It will be an adjustment. We won’t be able to have any extras at all, not that we do now, but I won’t be able to do anything, but work, eat, and sleep.
My mom won’t be there to babysit, I won’t have any family or friends anywhere near me, they’ll all be here in Tulsa, which will be a four-hour driving distance from Dallas. We’ll essentially be all alone, just the two of us, the same way my mom and I always were. The exact opposite of what I wanted for my life, but also, I would never change anything about having him.
It’ll just be us.
My boy and me.
“Let me make the phone call,” my mother urges.
Lifting my head, I look across the room to her. She’s standing at the entrance of my bedroom, leaning against the jamb, her eyes on me, a dishtowel in hand. Sinking my teeth into