Hunter - Blaire Drake Page 0,63

looking at you and thinking that there was no one else that I could ever spend my life beside. You.” He pointed his finger at me, jabbing it for extra effect. “Just. Fucking. You. Until you left. A part of me fucking died. Do you understand that? You may as well have ripped out my heart and half of my soul and taken it with you, because you practically did. How the fuck do you think I ended up like this? As the fucking Romano family assassin? I had nothing to live for. It didn't matter if someone killed me. I didn't care.”

I took a deep breath.

“I've killed at over fifty people in the last few years. Well over. Those are the ones I remember. You wanna know hurt, Adriana? There it is. I carry so much blood on my hands that I can barely see my skin. Any shred of light I had disappeared when you did. Life meant nothing to me if you weren't in it.” He rubbed his hand down his face incredibly slowly. “I loved you. A part of me still does love you. You don't love someone as much as I loved you and have that go away. Gaige Pontarelli knows that because he loves you, too. And that's why I fucking hate him, because I know you love him back. You were everything to me. Were. Are. Whatever. Hate me as badly as you want. Hurt me. Go ahead. I don't care. If I don't have you, then I don't have fucking anything. I should know. I've had nothing for ten fucking years.”

My jaw trembled and I looked away from him.

I wanted to hurt him.

I had.

I hurt him before I'd even tried.

He thought I was in love with Gaige.

“You... You think I'm in love with Gaige?” I asked softly. My voice shook with every word.

He nodded sharply. “I know you are, Adriana. I see the way you look at him.”

“I don't love Gaige. Not like that.” I kept my eyes on his face as my words filled the air between us. “I know how he feels about me. Believe me. Everyone does, but even Gaige himself knows I don't feel the same. How could I ever love him when a crazy mad part of me still loves you?”

He met my eyes.

“How could Gaige ever be my whole life when the person I loved more than anything was thousands of miles away from me? Don't you get it, Hunter? I'm so angry with you because I have ten years worth of heartbreak. I didn't know you thought I was dead. I just thought you didn't care. You broke my heart.” I link my hands behind my neck, letting my elbows rest on my chest. “You are the only person who's ever broken my heart and you didn't even know you did it.”

His shoulders heaved, his nostrils flaring as he took a deep breath. Once again, the silence between us screamed out with the heavy emotion that lingered in the words we'd spoken. They hung heavy in the air, their honesty startling.

I didn't know what I expected.

It definitely wasn't for him to come me.

He reached behind me and carefully, unlinked my fingers. His roughened hands took mine as he slowly lowered my arms to my sides. My heart beat quickly, clenching with sadness as his touch skated across my skin like a gentle gust of wind.

He was hesitant, a world away from the Hunter from the past several days. He was closer to the boy I knew once. The boy I fell in love with.

But people change, and so does love.

I didn't want a soft, gentle brush of his fingertips on my skin.

I wanted a bruising grasp on my hips.

I didn't want a delicate kiss.

I wanted my bottom lip bitten.

I didn't want my heart stolen.

I wanted my breath fucked out of me.

I didn't want the boy I fell for.

I wanted the man he was.

“Show me you,” I whispered. My hand reached up to his face, and my thumb glided along the rough stubble on his jaw. “I don't care if you single-handedly wiped out a whole country. I don't care if you've tortured or physically abused people. I want to see you, Carlo. Show me you.”

He grasped my hand. “I can't.”

“Yes, you can. What if this is the only chance we have? Because tomorrow, I'm going to New York. I don't care if I have to drive there. I'm going whether you like it or not.