were sharing the sofa. Now, what were we talking about when we fell asleep?” she asked.
“Music,” he answered.
“That’s right.” She nodded. “We were discussing how the songs on the playlist seemed to fit my situation.”
“Kenny Chesney and David Lee Murphy singing ‘Everything’s Gonna Be Alright.’” He grinned. “It will be, you know. You’re going to be fine, Em, I promise. Sophie’s lawyer will take care of your financial stuff, and even if you have to go to court and lose the case, you can make money on your own selling your art.”
“I hope I can live by my own wits. We heard a Rascal Flatts song last night that kind of fits my situation. It talks about a broken road that led me to this place in my life. Looking back at all the bad things—like when Mother fired Rebel, the rape, and the repressed memories—I’m glad that I’m right here today, Josh. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my whole life.”
What if this is all you ever get? the voice in Josh’s head asked. She’s experienced trauma in ways that she has to fix on her own. You can be here to help her if she needs to talk, but there are things you can’t fix.
I would if I could, Josh thought as he picked up a scone and bit it. The buttery layers and bits of blueberries tasted sweet in his mouth. Sweet like Emma had been to make him feel less awkward about staying over. He wanted her to be more than a friend, but he didn’t have any experience with women, and what she’d had with men was downright horrible.
Just be yourself, and spend time with her. His grandpa’s voice was clear in his head.
“Hey,” he said, “I’m taking my four-wheeler out this morning. Want to go with me?”
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“I thought I’d ride out to the base of the mountain for some inspiration on what to do next. We’ve got to work on some pieces for both Leo and Sophie now.”
“I’d love to,” Emma said, but she had doubts. Could she really crawl on the four-wheeler behind him? She had cuddled up next to him on the sofa, her back against his chest, but she didn’t remember how they’d gotten in that position. Her mother would have a fit if she knew that she’d slept with Josh or that she was going out into the desert with him on a four-wheeler. Even though he had money, he would never be good enough for a Merrill daughter, not even an unloved one.
Whoa! she thought. It’s not Mother’s business what I do anymore. I have to get past thinking like that.
And the dependence on Sophie? Victoria’s whispers were so icy that they gave her a chill even though the woman wasn’t there.
“Great,” he said. “I’m going home to get my supplies ready. I’ll make us sandwiches in case we want to stay out past lunchtime. Be back in an hour.” He disappeared out the door, and Emma reached for the cordless phone.
“I realize I’m depending on Sophie, but I need advice.” Emma poked in the number for Sophie, and then she hung up.
She paced the floor for five minutes. “I can’t do this on my own today. I need help,” she declared.
“Admitting that you need help is part of the healing process,” Nancy had said in a session. “Let me help you remember what you have locked away, Emma. Tell me why you left college and never went back. What happened to you there? It’s all right to talk about it and to ask for help when you are overwhelmed.”
She carried the phone over to the refrigerator, where Sophie had written down the phone numbers for Filly, Arty, Josh, Rebel, and herself. She started to call Sophie again, and then remembered that she would probably be getting things ready for her next showing. She should be thinking about that, not giving Emma dating advice. She was still thinking about calling Sophie when the phone rang. The noise startled her so badly that she dropped the receiver on the floor and had to scramble to pick it up. She finally answered on the fourth ring.
“Good morning again, Em. I wanted to tell you that I didn’t mean to embarrass you kids this morning,” Filly said.
“Lord, I’m glad you called,” Emma said.
“Honey, I’m not the Lord, but what’s going on?” Filly giggled.
“I just need to talk to someone. I’ve got all these strange