Hummingbird Lane - Carolyn Brown Page 0,114

and I both needed help. I drove for the first time in years, and she’s already feeling better.”

“That’s wonderful. I’ll go tell Arty and Filly. They’re both working behind their trailers today. Call me tonight?” he asked.

“Yes, definitely,” she answered.

Sophie got dressed in a pair of her cutoff overalls and a paint-stained shirt and started outside but then stopped and called her mother again.

“Are you really going to be all right?” Rebel asked.

“It’s the guilt that finally got to me. I saw a seventeen-year-old girl with dark hair on the plane, and I started thinking about the baby I didn’t want and lost. I figured I didn’t deserve to be happy when my negative thoughts had killed her.”

“That’s not the way to think,” Rebel said. “Could you have changed the color of your baby’s eyes or hair with thoughts? Of course you couldn’t, and you were scared out of your mind during those few weeks. Don’t blame yourself for what you couldn’t help, but from now on, you need to talk about things. Is something else going on?”

“Teddy and I had a big fight, and I don’t know if it can be fixed. I said some mean things, and so did he, and . . .” Sophie’s voice cracked.

“And is this your first huge argument?” Rebel asked.

“Yes, it is,” Sophie answered.

“Then it’s a test,” Rebel told her. “Time will tell if you passed the test or failed it. Whichever way it goes, you’ll have learned a lesson from it.”

“Thanks, Mama,” Sophie said. “I love him, but I’m just not sure—”

Rebel didn’t let her finish the sentence. “You’ve got a lot on your mind. You need to figure things out before you rush into anything. Give it time.”

“I love you,” Sophie said.

“Love you right back,” Rebel said and ended the call.

Sophie laid the phone to the side and peeked out the window above the sink. Emma was setting up the big easel for her and had laid the supplies out on the picnic table. Sophie had had friends, acquaintances, and fans, but she’d never had anyone like Em.

“Nothing and no one will ever keep us from seeing each other again, not even Victoria,” Sophie declared. She went outside and glanced out over the land at the mesalike mountain out there in the distance. “I’m going to paint that mountain with that big tree in the foreground and a whole family of javelinas underneath it. They’re as ugly as my mood has been, so it seems fitting.”

“That might get some of this mood out of your system.” Emma had set up a little tabletop easel and already had paint squirted out on a palette. “I’m going to work on a bunny that Josh and I saw when we went on our adventure. When did you know that you were in love with Teddy?”

The question came out of the blue so fast that it took Sophie by surprise. “I’m not sure. It’s been so long . . . ,” she stammered and tried to put words to the feelings she had had when she first met Teddy. “I think I must’ve loved him from the day I first saw him, but I didn’t admit it to him for a long time. Why are you asking?”

“I want to know what it feels like to fall in love,” Emma said. “How do you know for sure that it’s love, and not dependence on someone for your happiness? I have no money unless some of my paintings sell. I wouldn’t ever want Josh to think I’m only interested in him for security. I want to be independent and make my own way.”

“You won’t be penniless for much longer. My lawyer is working with Victoria’s lawyer, finally, and they’re trying to reach an agreement about your money. She’s being bitchy, but then, we expected that. And, honey, Josh would never think that of you.”

“I hope not.” Emma looked genuinely worried.

“But,” Sophie added, “this is the first guy you’ve ever let into your life. Are you sure about your feelings?”

“Filly and I had a long talk, and she said that we’re always hunting for something. That can be love, inspiration, or even the truth, or in my case, hunting for myself. I think I’ve found the truth, and I’m starting to find myself, but I’m not sure what it feels like to be in love. That’s why I asked you,” Emma said.

Sophie took a deep breath. “I’m a pretty poor excuse to ask about relationships right now. I

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