“I’m glad I didn’t have to make that decision. I would have felt guilty if I had decided to terminate the pregnancy, but”—Emma shrugged—“you know Victoria. She would have insisted I have an abortion or else sent me away to some exclusive unwed mothers’ home and given the baby up for adoption.”
“What would you have wanted?” Sophie asked.
“I couldn’t have raised a child back then, not in the condition I was in, and besides, every time I looked at the baby, I would have remembered that awful night. I just wanted to put it all behind me and never think of it again. That’s exactly what I did until you came to the center.” Emma touched her bottle to the one Sophie was holding. “To friends who are closer than sisters.”
“To us.” Sophie’s smile wasn’t brilliant, but it sure beat the scowls she’d been giving Emma since they had left home. “I’m glad you are here, Em. My heart and mind tell me not to feel like this, but it’s so tough.”
“Yep, I know exactly what you’re talking about,” Emma said.
“Couple of basket cases, aren’t we?” Sophie sighed.
“Maybe we were, but we’re two strong women now who have overcome horrible things and lived with the guilt for too long. Did you ever read that plaque hanging on the wall in my bedroom?” Emma asked.
“I noticed it was there, but until you moved into the trailer with me, I probably wasn’t in the bedroom you use more than a couple of times,” Sophie answered.
Emma set her beer on the floor and hopped up off the settee. She pushed some bags to the side and found her purse, took out her phone, and went back to sit beside Sophie. “Listen to this very carefully: ‘Love will put you face-to-face with endless obstacles. It will ask you to reveal the parts of yourself you tirelessly work at hiding. It will ask you to find compassion for yourself and receive what it is you are convinced you are not worthy of. Love will always demand more. Surrender to being seen and being loved. Surrender to the beauty of revealing yourself to yourself, and to the ones who saw you before you saw you.’ It was written by Vienna Pharaon, who is a therapist.” She took a drink of her beer and then went on, “We have faced obstacles. We have hidden parts of ourselves. We should give up all this baggage and realize we are worthy to be seen and to be loved.”
“That’s easier said than done,” Sophie whispered. “I haven’t told my mother about the baby. What’s she going to say? Is she going to be disappointed in me?”
Emma laid her phone in Sophie’s lap. “No time like the present. Jump over the obstacle and get it over with. Rebel loves you. She will understand.”
“Did Victoria understand when you told her about the rape?” Sophie asked.
“She did exactly what I thought she would do,” Emma answered. “And Rebel will do what I figure she’ll do. She’s not Victoria, and neither are we.”
Sophie scrolled down through Emma’s contacts and called her mother.
Emma stood up. “I’ll go on and finish unloading the SUV.”
Sophie grabbed her hand. “You are going to sit right here beside me. This is too much for me to do alone. Mama, I’ve got Emma here, and I’m putting you on speaker.”
“How are you holding up? Did Emma take you to the park?” Rebel asked.
“Yes, I did, but I had to bring her barefoot and in her pajamas, because she refused to get dressed,” Emma tattled.
“She can always get dressed later. The important thing is that you’ve gotten her out of bed and into a place where she’s always loved to paint,” Rebel said.
“Mama, I need to tell you something.” Tears flowed down Sophie’s cheeks again. “It’s so hard to even say the words.”
“Does Emma know what you’re about to say?” Rebel asked.
“I didn’t until this morning, maybe an hour or two ago,” Emma answered.
“Is Sophie crying?” Rebel asked.
“Yes,” Emma said.
“Then you tell me why she’s crying. That’s what friends are for,” Rebel said.
Sophie nodded at Emma. “I just can’t do it.”
Emma shortened the story, but by the time she was finished telling Rebel Sophie’s secret, all three of them were weeping.
“Don’t hate me, Mama,” Sophie sobbed.
“Hate you?” Rebel blew her nose loudly. “I’m just sorry you didn’t come to me and tell me then. You shouldn’t have carried this burden alone all these years. Promise me