At that word she froze, and another question arrived on my tongue.
‘Why does Oonagh live in the mountains?’
Silence fell, and we battled each other’s gaze.
‘You have developed an agenda,’ she said. ‘You side with humanity. You believe they should be resurrected from extinction.’
‘No. I side with my son. I want him to be the best that he can be, not because I want his species to be reborn, but because I want him to be happy. Even if it is just for a short time.’
‘That is a difficult thing to wish for. You have already seen that there are people who believe the project should be abandoned altogether, and they are not just on the council.’
‘These are the same people, I assume, who have grown so attached to their ertlings that they sob over drawings of houses? These ertlings who are now, apparently, to transcend with us?’
‘Of course they are to transcend with us. It is only natural that their carers should feel attached to them—we are not monsters.’
‘No, we are not, just as we are not a lot of things. In fact, our entire existence seems to be defined by things that we are not—not fearful, not distracted, not curious, not wishful, not hasty, not irascible, not passionate—and yet I see these things in us more every day.’
‘Maybe you only see them in yourself.’
I straightened your drawings and pulled them close, for there was strength in them.
‘You are right, Mother, I do have an agenda now. But if some have already made up their minds about Reed, then so do they. He is only eleven years old, and he still has much to learn. Please let him learn it.’
She worked her jaw, thinking. At last she spoke.
‘Go. Continue. I will talk to the council.’ She gestured to the drawings clutched to my breast. ‘But there are to be no more of those.’
She departed, and I stood for some moments in the cold silence before making my way outside. But as I left the Halls I stopped cold; Benedikt was beside you upon the bench, with one arm thrown casually on the backrest. Heart kicking, I marched across the square, hiding my fear behind a thin smile.
He looked up at my approach, retracting his arm.
‘Ima, Reed and I were just chatting. Isn’t that right, Reed?’
‘Is that so?’ I said, my smile already beginning to ache. ‘And what exactly were you chatting about?’
‘Oh, lots,’ you said, standing. ‘Ben was teaching me more about things that happened in the past.’
‘I see. Well, lucky you. Reed, will you please go and see to Boron for our ride home? I just need to talk to Benedikt for a moment.’
Benedikt gave you a friendly wave as you ran for the paddock. Once you were gone, I turned to him.
‘Stop trying to poison my son.’
Benedikt stood, abruptly.
‘Poison? I am merely teaching him about the history of his species, a task you have avoided, it seems.’
‘Of course I have avoided it. I cannot risk him finding out the truth.’
‘Precisely. You wish to raise him in a vacuum. What kind of a test is that?’
I glared at him.
‘You are trying to twist him,’ I said. ‘You think that if you tell him these things, all these woeful, bloody tales about war and murder and sorrow then it will bring out the worst in him. You wish to trigger violent urges.’
He went to protest, but I cut him short.
‘You want to make it harder for him.’
Benedikt narrowed his eyes and leaned in.
‘And why on earth would I want to do that?’
‘Because you want this project to fail. You want him to fail.’
I sensed his fury rise in a single heartbeat.
‘All I have ever wanted,’ he said, throwing a finger at the paddock, ‘was to let the erta see what that creature is capable of.’
His eyes were filled with rage, but there was something else in them too, and whatever it was it was trapped. Benedikt had a secret.
‘What happened to you?’ I said.
Before he could reply Caige called from the Halls.
‘Benedikt,’ he said sharply. Benedikt swung his head. ‘You are wanted inside.’
He took one last look at me—the secret was still in there, I could see it burning—and left.
— THIRTY-FIVE —
‘THEY DIDN’T LIKE my pictures,’ you said gloomily from behind. It was dark, so I had borrowed one of Ertanea’s torches to light our way through the forest, and tree shadows swayed with Boron’s soft plod. The motion calmed me after my altercation