Hula Done It - By Maddy Hunter Page 0,40

Did This Relationship Fail?" section of some woman's magazine?

"Emily?" he prompted.

I watched the blonde slap the Magic Marker back into Nana's hand and return to her digging, never raising her head as Nana tried to strike up a conversation. After a few moments of being ignored, Jonathan clutched Nana's arm and assisted her around the pit. It was kind of sweet the way he held her forearm, guiding her to safer ground. The same way Grampa Sippel used to do when he'd take her ice fishing with him. I sat mutely for a heartbeat, wondering what she'd give to have Grampa back again.

"Emily? Did we get cut off?"

"No...I'm here." As I watched them amble toward the waterfall, I realized that my decision had been made for me. "All right. I'll wait for you, Etienne, but --"

"Say no more. I love you, bella! You won't be sorry. Thank the gentleman for the use of his phone. Sei piu bella d'un angelo. Voglio essere con te per eternita." And then he disconnected.

"Etienne? Etienne! What does that mean?" Damn. I got goose bumps when he spoke Italian to me, but I hated not knowing what he was saying. If I could remember any of the words, I could ask Duncan to translate; he was fluent in five languages. But how tacky would it be to ask the competition to translate the sweet nothings of the front runner?

Nuts. What was I going to do about Duncan?

I boosted myself to my feet, a little unsettled about what might be in store for me, but feeling good about having gotten a few things off my chest. The muscle shirt guy was in the back forty, heaving chunks of moss over his head, so I headed off in that direction with his phone, making a detour along the way.

"Have you reached China yet?" I asked the cheerleaders as I hovered beside their ever-deepening hole. The blonde paused, sank back onto her haunches, and gazed up.

"What?"

"China. Didn't you ever see that Bugs Bunny cartoon where he dug a hole and ended up in China?"

She looked me up and down, her eyes pebble hard in her ultratanned face. "Is that what you do in your spare time?" she asked condescendingly. "Watch cartoons?"

I flashed her a benevolent smile. I wasn't the one who was going to look like a thousand-year-old raisin by the time I reached forty, so I could afford to be pleasant.

"My brother watches cartoons," the brunette volunteered, still digging. "He's actually done an analysis that draws a striking parallel between Elmer Fudd's relentless pursuit of Bugs and the path our current administration is taking in its foreign policy."

Where else but in America could you watch Looney Tunes for a semester and earn credit toward a college degree? "Where's your brother studying?" I inquired.

"Miss Clukey's Nursery School. He's five."

My youngest nephew had attended nursery school. We'd been pretty impressed when he learned to count to ten. "I'm Emily, by the way," I said in introduction. "And you are?"

"Shelly Valentine," said the brunette, bobbing her head.

"Busy," said the blonde, returning to her excavating duties.

"Dammit, Jen," Shelly complained. "Will you watch what you're doing? You're contaminating my quadrant."

Dissension in the ranks. Oh, goody, I loved it when that happened. I looked blithely from one to the other, ever the cordial observer. "If I'm not mistaken didn't I see the two of you at Professor Smoker's lecture yesterday?"

"So?" Jen grumbled, never looking up.

"So, you must be really broken up about what happened to him after the lecture."

"We're crushed," she said sarcastically.

"It was a horrible blow." Shelly brushed a strand of hair off her face with her wrist, leaving a smudge on her cheek. "I don't understand how anyone could hurt Dori. He was so lovable."

"Dori?" I asked.

Shelly looked faintly embarrassed. "That was our pet name for him. Everyone in his inner circle called him Dori."

"So how did one go about getting admitted to Professor Smoker's inner circle?"

"By sleeping with him," Jen said matter-of-factly. She looked up, spearing me with her eyes. "Do you have a problem with that?"

Yup. Tilly had sure hit the nail on the head with that one. "Hey, it's your life."

Jen let out a derisive snort. "Your generation is so sexually repressed. In case you hadn't noticed, we've moved out of the Dark Ages. University professors don't live in ivory towers anymore. The really hot ones sleep around, and in case you weren't aware, no one was hotter than Dori."

"Did he sleep around a lot?" I ventured.

" 'A