How Sinners Fight - Eva Ashwood Page 0,32

over,” Declan says, letting out a breath like he’s trying to calm his anger. It’s barely working. I can see it in the tension under his skin. “I thought he was done with his stupid revenge thing.”

“He won’t do it again.” Elias’s voice is hard, and my gaze shoots to him. “We won’t let him kick you out of this school or do anything to hurt you. He’s being a dick, and it’s not fucking okay. He may be our friend, but you’re ours too, Blue.”

I swallow. This isn’t even close to the response I expected. I haven’t known them all that long, but ever since I came to Hawthorne, I’ve always seen the Sinners have each other’s backs. Are these two really taking my side over their friend, who they’ve known far longer than me?

I don’t buy it.

They’ve backed each other up in all sorts of asshole games, and I’m not going to believe them just because they say they’re done now. I believed Gray last semester when he told me he was sorry, and look where that shit got me. I’m done having faith.

Believe people when they show you who they are.

Those words I said to Max come floating back into my mind now. I want to trust Declan and Elias, but I don’t have any trust left in me. Gray took it all and broke it.

“Those are pretty words,” I say, digging deep for the familiar numbness and letting it fill my chest. “But I’ll believe it when I see it. When you can prove to me that you mean what you say.”

“Okay.” Elias’s quick response surprises me. He holds up his hands, his light brown eyes wide and sincere, like he’s trying to prove already that he’s no threat to me. “I hate that it has to be that way, but I understand why. You’ll see, Blue. I promise. We’re done following Gray’s lead when it comes to you—when it comes to anything. I’m sorry he lost Beth, that we all lost her, but this is too fucking much. He doesn’t get to hide behind grief forever and use it as an excuse to hurt other people. He’s done too much damage already, and we should’ve stopped him a long time ago.”

My heart races in my ears, a steady thump as Declan nods, his expression set in hard lines.

“He can be a stubborn fucking asshole,” he says. “And we should know. We cut him slack because of Beth for months, but we can’t do that anymore. Not if this is what he’s doing. We choose you, not him. We’ll protect you from him as much as we can.”

I swallow the lump of emotions in my throat, avoiding looking at either of them.

We choose you.

“Fine,” I whisper.

It’s a paltry, pitiful word, not even close to expressing everything I wish I could say. But it’s all I can give them right now.

I can’t believe any of it. I won’t let myself believe it until I’m really, truly sure. My heart’s already been broken once. I’m not sure I’d survive it breaking two more times.

This time, when I shove my way past the two men, they let me leave. The campus is emptying out as classes start for the day, and I hike my backpack higher on my shoulders as I walk quickly toward the lecture hall where my first class will be held. The professor gives me an annoyed look as I slip into the large classroom, but I don’t even bother affixing a contrite look on my face. It would take more energy than my whirling thoughts allow.

My phone buzzes in my pocket as the door closes behind me, and I dig it out to see several texts from Max.

MAX: It’s cool. I’ve got Psych 101 first. I think you said you do too, right?

MAX: Hey, girl. Professor Thomas just called roll. You want me to cover for you?

MAX: I’m sitting in the back left.

When I look in that direction, she gives a little wave, and a small amount of relief washes through me as I make my way to her, ignoring the whispers and looks that follow me as I do. People talking behind my back is nothing I haven’t dealt with before, and I refuse to let it bother me now.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” Max shoots me a worried look as I take a seat next to her. Professor Thomas has gone back to his lecture, and the room is big enough that her low