But this is no ordinary bulge. This protrusion is the result of a one-carat round-cut diamond ring sitting inside a small square box. I adjust my position slightly, and the sharp edge of the box stabs me in the thigh. I shift again, causing Mia to ask me if I’m okay. I swallow hard and nod.
But the truth is, okay is not the right word. I’m excited. Exhilarated. But I’m also terrified. It feels like that time my best friend, Lance, made me cliff dive in Kauai. I wanted to, I swear. As I stood on the edge of the rocky cliff, I could almost feel the tepid water and my feet slicing through it. But when it was time to vault off, all I could imagine was what could go wrong. Hitting a sharp rock. Nailing the side of the cliff. A hungry great white shark circling below. That’s probably why Lance pushed me—he’d seen the way I’d frozen up. But as I flew through the air, all the fear vanished in a whoosh that left me breathless. In that moment, between leaving the safety of the ground and landing in the water, I saw a glimpse of who I could be. A man with no inhibitions.
And now, sitting at the oceanfront table I requested at the Pacific Coast Grill in Solana Beach, I feel like I’m perched on another peak, ready to take a different sort of leap with the beautiful redhead who sits across from me. I watch as she spoons the delicate coconut cheesecake into her mouth, closing her eyes in pleasure. She holds the next bite out to me. “You’ve got to try this, Dom!”
I open my mouth obediently and make a big deal out of how delicious it is. But I don’t taste a thing. I pat the box in my pocket and tell myself what I’m about to do is like cliff jumping. It’s scary but also amazing and wonderful, if I can muster the balls to do it. I think of the way I felt when my body hit the surface of the water. Like I could do anything. Be anything. Anyone.
And right now as I sit in this restaurant, the tables around me all filled with people eating their fish and going about their lives, all I know is I love this woman with me. Sure—she’s gorgeous. I’ll never forget the first time I saw her dancing in the quad at San Diego State. But she is also wicked smart. Incredibly kind. Delicate but also fearless in this wonderful way that makes you want to be fearless too. A life with her would absolutely include cliff diving. And this time I wouldn’t have to be pushed.
I refuse to hesitate any longer. I hand the server a credit card as she passes by. “We’re ready to go,” I say as Mia takes her last bite. I nod toward the beach beyond the window. “It’s so nice out. Want to take a walk?” She nods her approval, like I knew she would. The beach is her happy place. And it has also become a living, breathing part of our relationship. I told her I loved her for the first time while the waves lapped our toes down the coast in Ocean Beach, and we kissed with such force that I didn’t notice as the tide moved in and soaked us. Or maybe I noticed and didn’t care. That’s what Mia does—she makes everything else fade away. It is easy to get swept away in her. She’s my sea.
Like now, as I take her hand and lead her to the water. We take off our shoes and let our feet sink down into the wet sand, our footprints washed away with each wave that rolls in. The sun is slowly making its way to where the skyline meets the sea. A family of four huddles on a blanket a few yards back, patiently waiting for the sun to set. Men and women in wet suits sit on their surfboards and let the water rock them back and forth. Mia leans down to uncover a seashell, brushing her fingers through the sand until it’s free. Time stands still as I pull the velvet box from my pocket and palm it in my hand. Mia uses the seawater to wash off the shell and holds it out, her face shining. “It’s perfect!” she declares.