How to Have Your Boss's Secret Baby - London Casey Page 0,105
some of the decline with the growth of the new software we came up with. The entire company should have been down, but we hedged our way into growth. Small, sure, but it was something. Now I know that prick Pickle is trying to smear the company as overinflated. Don’t worry about that. The only thing overinflated is his dick when he pumps it up too much because he knows paying for pussy isn’t the same as someone actually wanting to fuck him.”
“Wow,” someone said. “You’re brutal.”
“He made comments about my girl a few times,” I said. “I almost broke his jaw once. That’s why I walked away from the deal. And if you start sniffing around again, you’ll end up burned. If you want my opinion, I say you work with Creatford and merge our software with theirs and throw Pickle to the side of the road.”
“That’s a risky play,” Gary said.
“I’m just a consultant,” I said. “But think about it. It’ll take some strategic planning, but if done correctly, it’ll knock Pickle down a few notches for sure.”
“I think we should analyze every possibility and vote,” someone said.
“Agreed,” Gary said. “But let’s explore it.”
Gary nodded to me.
We started to dig into the financials when the phone rang.
Gary grabbed it. “I said not to… oh… okay… I’ll tell him right now.”
Gary hung up the phone and pointed at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Your, uh, Maya is on the elevator… she’s in labor.”
I ran out of the office and when I looked at the elevators, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
Maya stood in the doorway to the elevators, holding the doors open with one hand. Her other hand was cradled under her stomach.
The look on her face said it all.
The baby was on its way.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked as I hurried toward her.
I gently moved her back into the elevator and hit the ground floor button.
“I wanted to come surprise you,” she said. “For old-time sake. You know? The office. The elevator. I wanted to see if you would fuck me on the elevator.”
“I still can, right?” I asked.
She groaned. “Shut up, asshole. The baby is coming. You’re not stuffing anything up there. Got it?”
“Okay, okay,” I said. “Holy shit, Maya. This is crazy.”
“This is painful,” she said. “I hate you for this, Cole. I hate you so much for this.”
“I know you do, love,” I said. “But, hey, look at it this way… look where we are. It’s where we first met, right? The same elevator too.”
Maya looked around and nodded.
She shut her eyes and groaned in pain.
“Did you ever think that hot, sexy piece of ass you met that day would get you pregnant?” I asked.
Maya laughed and groaned. She looked at me. “That day I would have definitely let you get me pregnant. You looked so good, Cole.”
“And you looked so innocent and beautiful,” I said to her. “Just keep breathing.”
“I know how to fucking breathe!” she snapped at me.
I took my cellphone out and sent the warning text to Dr. Haime.
He knew it was any day now.
Lucky for us, he was the best damn doctor I ever met.
It took him ten seconds to reply with a thumbs up.
“Dr. Haime is ready,” I said.
“Good. Now… my pocket… oh, Cole… it hurts… my pocket… the envelope… I need to know what we’re having.”
“What? You’re in labor. You’ll find out soon.”
“Do you really want to fucking argue with me right now?”
I shut my mouth and found the envelope.
Maya bent her legs and put her head back.
She took deep breaths and groaned.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Just fucking open it!” she yelled.
The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened.
A handful of people tried to step forward.
Maya looked at them and screamed at the top of her lungs.
It was like a horror movie…
She screamed and they all scattered.
I jumped forward and put my hand at the door.
“We have to go,” I said.
“Tell me the sex of the baby,” she said.
“Maya…”
“Listen to me!”
I ripped the envelope open and took out the piece of paper.
“It’s blank,” I said.
Maya looked at me and burst into tears. “What?”
“I’m kidding.”
“I fucking hate you,” she said. “I’m leaving you after this. I’m taking all your money and I’m leaving you.”
I stuffed the paper into my back pocket and grabbed for Maya.
I helped her off the elevator and through the lobby.