How to Catch a Queen (Runaway Royals #1) - Alyssa Cole Page 0,58
have something to do.
“I mean look at this. ‘How can women and other marginalized groups feel like full citizens when we have no voice in this kingdom?’” he read, then shook his head. “This isn’t a democracy. They tried that at the beginning of independence, and it led to civil war. None of us have a voice. That’s the point of this kingdom. Njazans follow the decisions of the king . . . of . . . me.”
He suddenly felt so tired. By the two gods, it had been easier when he was checked out, when he didn’t have to make choices and second-guess them.
If tradition wasn’t the most important thing, if laws could be broken or changed easily, what was the point of anything? His thoughts multiplied and filled his head, sapping his energy even more. Usually he just decided it was easier to do nothing at all.
“I think that’s enough for tonight,” he said, dropping the pad onto the coffee table.
“I was hoping to ask you a question,” she said.
The hesitation in her voice was so unlike her that he glanced at her.
“I wanted to know about the former queens. I found—”
“Enough for tonight,” he said before she could go any further. His head was already swimming from the domino effect one reconsideration had caused and he couldn’t deal with talking about the past queens on top of that.
“Okay,” she said tartly, leaning over to scrawl something on the paper. “We’ll talk again soon. In the meantime, please look at this when you’re feeling up to it.”
She handed him the paper when they both stood at the threshold of the door, then placed her hand on his shoulder to stop him when he tried to leave without saying another word.
“You’re brave,” she said quietly.
He glared down at her. Their conversation had already pushed him to the edge of his tolerance and now she lied to flatter him. He reminded himself that she was only kind to him because she thought it would help her keep the crown.
“It’s the duty of the king to be brave, above all things,” he said, his anger barely concealed.
“I’m not talking about duty,” she said. “You could’ve left my room at any point, could have ordered me to stop talking, because you are king. Instead you stayed, trying to think through things even if you find them confusing and don’t like change, when it’s so much easier to let things remain as they are. That is brave.”
Warmth spread in Sanyu’s chest, filling in the spaces between the tangle of pulsing agitation that he could never rid himself of.
“You speak to me like I’m a child,” he said gruffly.
“Yes, I am,” she said. She reached out and stroked her hand up and down the side of his neck, a motion that could have been arousing in other circumstances but was calming instead. “We don’t stop needing to hear what’s good in ourselves, ever. Other people just stop telling us as we get older. But I’m not other people. I’m your wife.”
She leaned up on the balls of her feet as she had the evening before, but this time, not in challenge. She kissed him, firmly but sweetly, her lips exploring the hard set of his mouth until he lowered his head a fraction. Then her tongue swiped over his lips, licked into his mouth and tangled with his. He’d sparred for hours but this was the battle that cleared the crowded slate of his mind. As they kissed, there was nothing but the taste of her mouth, the feel of her soft lips against his, the small sounds of pleasure that were so different from her usual fierceness—and just as pleasing to him.
Shanti pulled away, resting her forehead against his chin for a second.
“Good night.” She stepped back and closed the door.
Sanyu stared at the patterns carved into the wooden door for a long time, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. That hadn’t been their first kiss, had been chaste compared to what they’d done before, but his head was spinning. In his hand, the piece of paper she’d passed him was crushed in his fist.
He thought about knocking on the door and pulling her back into his arms, but she’d made it clear that it was a night for politics, not passion. If he did that, he’d only be using her as a distraction and Shanti was much more than that.