How to Catch a Queen (Runaway Royals #1) - Alyssa Cole Page 0,105
more than anyone she’d met in the kingdom.
“Make opportunity your prey, and may the goddess rain blessings on your pursuit of it.”
Chapter 20
Sanyu hadn’t been surprised when Lumu entered the office somberly and told him that the queen had gone. He’d read the letter she’d written, forcing himself not to feel anything as he did, and then tucked it into the drawer of his father’s desk and closed it firmly.
He hadn’t inquired as to her whereabouts or tried to find her. He’d exercised for hours, showered, and then eaten as little as necessary to keep from feeling weak in body as well as in mind. He’d tried to forget. It was what he always did when a queen left—except this time he didn’t think he’d be able to.
He was in his office staring at the wall the next day when Lumu walked in without knocking. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Has Minister Masane brought the proposal?”
Lumu came around the giant desk and leaned against the edge of it, looking down at Sanyu.
“Your Highness, you don’t have any more questions about the fact that your wife is gone?”
Sanyu’s chest felt tight and there was a pain there that wasn’t the not-fear—it wasn’t an anxiety attack. He closed his eyes, briefly, and savored it like the tea Shanti would give him when he visited her bedroom. Shame. Regret. Anger. Confusion. Loneliness. Those were the notes of this brew of heartache.
When he opened his eyes, he glared at Lumu and lifted one shoulder.
“This is Njaza. Queens don’t stay, you know that,” he said. “My own mother didn’t stay. Why should I expect my wife to?”
Lumu’s firm hand clapped down onto Sanyu’s shoulder, startling him. He was used to only being touched in sparring practice, or by his dresser, or most recently by his wife—no, that wasn’t true. Lumu had always given him that anchoring touch. That reminder of friendship and support.
“Sanyu, man. Come on.” Lumu squeezed gently. “Things don’t have to be that way, and you know it because you’ve already started to make changes. You can expect people to treat you well. You can expect people to stay. I’ve never gone anywhere, have I?”
Sanyu was horrified to feel his eyes warm with tears. He blinked them back, and shook his head gruffly. “Don’t be foolish. I already have so much to do and trying to change everything at once will just lead to messing everything up. I’ll be fine. Kings of Njaza—”
“—are human. You are human. Just because you are king doesn’t mean you don’t get love and support.”
Sanyu cringed, trying not to let the bitterness drain from his heart’s brew. He didn’t want to deal with what would be left behind. That one thing he’d thought couldn’t flourish within the palace walls.
Hope.
“I don’t need those things. It is not the way of our king.”
“Says who?” Lumu pressed. “I know you’ve been told tradition this and tradition that, but you are truly not touched by Amageez because you never questioned who started these traditions and why. Sometimes when you pull up a hardy bush, you find it’s held in the earth by the thinnest of roots.”
Sanyu glanced at Lumu, and raised his brows. “Enough of that. Who do I contact in Thesolo to arrange for a visit?”
“She hasn’t left the country yet,” Lumu said, pushing off of the desk. “I don’t know where she is though. Njaza isn’t the most accommodating terrain for a scavenger hunt, but I think this prize is worth it to you.”
“How can I ask her to come back to the palace after what I did?” Sanyu asked on a heavy sigh. “I threw her hard work under the bus because I was afraid. I didn’t credit her out of fear the ideas would be rejected. I didn’t want to disappoint Musoke so I disappointed her instead.”
“You’ve already figured out what you did wrong—some people never get that far.” Lumu laughed gently; lovingly. “Marriage isn’t happily-ever-after—you’re right about that. There will be disagreements and hurt feelings and misunderstandings, though not always linked to the well-being of an entire kingdom.” He threw up his hands. “There’s no magic to making it work, and no prayers to the gods that provide a shortcut to happiness. Communicate. Apologize. Show her you love her. Try to make her happy. That’s all you can do.”
“That sounds harder than being king, and I’ve been shit at that,” Sanyu said with a defeated laugh.
“Good thing you don’t have to do either of those things alone,” Lumu said.