Hotter than Texas (Pecan Creek) - By Tina Leonard Page 0,15

He wasn’t about to toss her out of his house just because Vivian’s self-righteous standards had been violated.

Entry #1, August, midnight

Dear Journal,

This move may have been a mistake. A big one. Like, hellishly big.

But we’re all together—right?

Sugar

Chapter Four

“Sweet Jesus! Jake, you gotta come quick!” Kel practically fell into the Bait and Burgers basement the next morning while Jake was taking inventory of food stock, liquor and, most especially, paper napkins. Folks tended to hate eating burgers without sufficient napkins to sop up the juiciness of what Jake considered the best burgers in Texas. Unhappy customers meant bad word of mouth.

Kind of like Sugar last night—all kinds of bad word of mouth. He couldn’t blame her for being pissed. The problem was, he hadn’t yet figured out how to fix it. “I can’t leave, Kel. What’s going on?”

“You’re never going to believe this.” Kel glanced around, his eyes wild, his hair standing straight up. “They’re lying out with no tops on, bare as the day they came into this world. And I was right. Lucy’s tits are the stuff of legend.”

Jake held back a groan. “Who is they?”

“All three of those ladies from Flo-rid-ah.” Kel looked like he was about to pop a coronary. “You never saw such a beautiful thing in your whole life, I swear it. It’s even better than Playmate of the Month in triplicate. Holy shit, I think I’m gonna fall out.”

Jake shoved Kel into a chair. “How the hell could you have seen them without their tops on? Aren’t the Cassavechias in the backyard?”

The backyard was private, protected by board-on-board fence. He’d installed it himself. There wasn’t room for an ant to shinny through.

“I was— Don’t be mad, but you’d said the roof needed shingles, so I went over to see if I could put some up.” Kel waved at the air with a big paw. “And when I looked down, there they were, just like God intended his angels to be.”

Jake closed his eyes for a brief moment. “Look. You had no business being up there without telling them.” For a moment, he wondered what Sugar’s breasts looked like glistening in the sun, then shoved the unworthy thought away. “You have to tell them when you’re going over to do a repair.”

“They’re renters,” Kel said, as if renters didn’t deserve courtesy, “and I was trying to help. Actually, I was trying to make some money, but that was worth it.” Kel looked like he’d died and gone to heaven.

Jake shoved a twenty in Kel’s hand. “Thanks for trying. Now this is what you’re going to do. Go arrange for a babysitter, and I want you to take Debbie out for a nice dinner. A long one, just the two of you.” He fished a hundred dollar bill from his wallet and crammed that in Kel’s meaty fist too. “And a hotel room. You need to spend time alone with your wife.”

“Even the old lady’s got a great set of knockers,” Kel said, his voice hushed and reverent. “After all the shit we saw in Iraq, that almost made up for it, Jake. Almost.” He closed his eyes, overcome.

Jake shook his head. After a moment, he realized Kel had completely blown himself out. All the excitement had totally short-circuited his big, hammy brain. “Damn,” Jake muttered, sitting down to ponder the situation.

The Cassavechias weren’t hurting anything. It was their backyard. No one else was likely to get on top of the roof. After a moment, Jake went back to counting inventory. It had to be a Florida thing, lying around without tops on. Ladies in Pecan Creek would rather be caught picking their noses in church than topless. He was pretty certain that was no exaggeration. Once you were blackballed in Pecan Creek, you were done for. It was almost impossible to get back into the good graces if one was given the not-so-ladylike finger.

Pecan Creek’s social register was tighter than a nun’s ass crack.

But he could understand Kel’s coronary. Sugar’s long legs in those short white shorts she’d worn last night to the courthouse had given him erotic dreams the likes of which he hadn’t had in years. Underscore hot dreams with the fact that he hadn’t gotten laid in a year, and it was time to call out the fire department.

He wondered if he should call the ladies up and warn them that they’d been seen. After last night, he figured Sugar didn’t want any more help from him. He was still trying to