“You think this was more than just an adventurous weekend away?” she continues.
“It doesn’t matter because he doesn’t want to see me anymore. He wants to be alone. The weekend was just a game to him. He was on some kind of power-trip.”
“So then move on. Forget about him and his family.”
“That’s the thing, Gigi, I can’t!” I’m snapping at her now, even though I know she doesn’t deserve it. I take in a few deep breaths to calm myself again.
“I have nothing else to do. If another job comes along and I don’t have the time, I’ll drop it. For now, this will keep me occupied.”
She knows she’s not going to win this fight or convince me otherwise, so now she just nods.
“Just promise me one thing, Ella.”
“What?”
“You’re not going to make yourself crazy over this, and whatever happens, this time, you won’t disappear to Europe for six months.”
I let out a nervous laugh at that.
“I’m fine, Gigi; you don’t have to worry about that. It was never that intense between us. We were never in a relationship. Not a real one. I didn’t commit myself to him or anything like that.” It doesn’t even sound remotely convincing as I say the words. Who am I kidding? It was exactly that intense between us. Even more. Maybe it seems like I know nothing about Reed Silvers and he is practically a stranger to me, but in some ways, I know him better than I know myself.
“You gave him your virginity. I know what that feels like,” Gigi says.
I stare at her, speechless for a few moments.
“It’s no big deal. I’m glad it’s over. I didn’t want to be a virgin anymore. Now I can just move on and live my life normally,” I insist.
She nods, but I can still feel her eyes on me, studying me. Then she takes in a deep breath like she’s giving up.
“Okay, so hit me with the details. What are you going to do about this Annie woman?” she asks.
I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t know where to even begin. Nobody has given me clues. I think I’m going to try contacting Reed’s caseworker again. She didn’t want to speak to me before, but maybe she will now. Then I’m going to go have a chat with the Silvers’ old landlord. Of the apartment they used to live in during the accident. Maybe he knows something about where Annie might have moved to after leaving the hospital.”
I know there is an excitement in my voice. I’ve been thinking about this hard and long. These are just some of my ideas, I have a few others, but I stop talking when I notice the way Gigi is looking at me. Like she thinks I’m crazy.
“Ella, hon, be careful, okay?” she insists. I smile and wave a hand in the air, taking another bite of the brownie. I’m thinking of ordering another one. I like the warm fuzzy feeling it gives me. I need more of that now that I don’t know when or if I’ll ever see Reed again.
“This is going to be fun. It’s like solving a mystery,” I say. But Gigi isn’t smiling.
“It’s not a game, Ella; it’s people’s lives,” she replies.
I brush the curls off my face and tuck them behind my ears. I know she’s right even if I don’t want to admit it. There is a part of me that says I should let Annie Silvers be in peace. If she doesn’t want to be found, who am I to go hunting for her?
And then there is another part that is astounded by what she did. How could a mother abandon her two-year-old?
Even if Reed doesn’t want answers, I sure as hell want some.
Six weeks later
I’m not sure of the exact date when I stopped looking for Annie Silvers. It has to have been some time in the last two weeks.
For a month after the last time I saw Reed, I obsessed over finding her. I spoke to Reed’s caseworkers growing up, I spoke to his parents’ old landlord, neighbors, pretty much anybody I could find who had known them when they used to live as a family. When Dan was still alive and Annie was still around.
I even tried to get in contact with Reed’s foster homes. But it seemed like everyone was trying their best to shut me out.
They were suspicious of me. Protective of their information, and after four weeks of