Hot and Bothered - Erika Wilde Page 0,75
good, too,” Noah added, then dredged up the one question he knew Gina could answer for him. “Is Natalie off tonight?”
Gina cleared a nearby table and wiped down the surface. “I guess you could say that,” she murmured.
Noah frowned, sensing much more to Gina’s comment. “What do you mean by that?”
She glanced at him, searching his expression, then shook her head. “You don’t know, do you?”
Witnessing the rueful look in Gina’s eyes, Noah’s stomach twisted into a knot of apprehension. “Know what?”
Gina hesitated, then finally said, “Natalie turned in her resignation this afternoon.”
“She quit?” he asked incredulously. “Why?”
Gina chewed on her bottom lip, as if uncertain she should divulge any more information. She must have seen his desperation, because she finally put him out of his misery. “She told Murphy that she’s moving.”
A fresh wave of panic reared inside of him. “To where?”
Genuine regret filled Gina’s eyes. “I honestly don’t know, Noah.”
“Order up, Gina,” Murphy called from the service area, and she gave Noah a soft “I’m sorry” before hurrying over to the bar to pick up her drinks and deliver them.
Noah scrubbed a hand along his taut jaw and stared at Bobby, as if he could make sense of what was happening. “Where in the hell would she move to?” And why? Was she putting even more distance between them, or escaping memories of Chad’s attack? Or a combination of both?
“I have no idea what goes on in the minds of most women. Maybe you should ask Natalie for yourself,” Bobby suggested pragmatically.
Did he even have the right to question her choices? Noah wondered. After all she’d been through, after all he’d put her through, didn’t she deserve to make the kind of decisions she felt were the best for her future? Even if that meant he wasn’t a part of it?
Bobby came up beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t let her go without telling her how you really feel. If you don’t at least try to bridge the gap between the two of you, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
The profundity of his friend’s words of wisdom made Noah curious. “Are you speaking from personal experience?”
Bobby shrugged, neither confirming nor denying the direct question. “Just trust me on this, Noah. If she’s the woman you love, then fight for her.”
Noah had never been put in such a position before, having to win the affection of a woman. But then, he’d never wanted a woman as much as he needed Natalie in his life. And how ironic was it that he’d protected his emotions for so long, only to fall for the one woman who remained elusive to him?
He’d watched Joelle and Cole struggle with the same fears and doubts not that long ago. He’d even helped them to recognize the weaknesses that had prevented them from grasping happiness together. What Noah hadn’t admitted to himself was that he’d been afflicted with the same insecurities as a result of his shaky childhood.
The scared little boy in him who’d faced so much rejection and pain in the past had kept him from laying his soul on the line the morning Chad had attacked Natalie. As hard as it was for him to admit, he’d been scared of taking a personal gamble that would leave him emotionally vulnerable. Then and there, he should have been brave enough to tell Natalie exactly how he felt about her, as Bobby had suggested. With the return of her memory, she needed to understand that his feelings for her were real, and not a part of some pretense designed to protect her.
Now that he had distance from the situation, it wasn’t difficult for him to recognize that they were both running from a lifetime of tragic memories. They each harbored a fear of intimacy, feared trusting another person with their heart and soul. And yet he trusted Natalie with his life. He wanted her for keeps and forever, and he wasn’t going to hide behind a painful past any longer when she was everything he’d ever dreamed of, and so much more. And that meant taking chances…like finally buying her the engagement ring she deserved. A symbol of his belief in her, and an eternal commitment to them as a couple. It was time he faced his own fears and took a risk with his emotions, and with Natalie.
He had nothing left to lose, except his heart.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Natalie stood in the center of her studio apartment Saturday morning,