Hostile Ground (The Arsenal #7) - Cara Carnes Page 0,80
the tears. She shook her head. “I buried them at the camp. We did. He went back and found them before his father started breaking down the camp.”
“Wow.” Zoey set the turtle down beside the phoenix. “That’s…I don’t even know what to say.”
“Neither do I,” Addy admitted.
“Sometimes the best words are none at all. I can’t imagine what it was like in that camp. Gage told me I shouldn’t talk about that until you show you’re ready.” Zoey hugged Addy tight. “I can’t imagine. God.”
Addy hugged her friend. “Don’t think about it. I don’t.”
“The memories don’t come back with Kristof here?” Zoey motioned toward the table. “With all this?”
They did. Addy took a deep breath and nodded. “I fought so long to forget, but I’m thinking that was the wrong approach.”
Addy was more confused than ever. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel Kristof’s mouth against hers. Smell his cologne. “I know he’s not a good man, not on the surface level you all know.”
But the Kristof she’d known, the man who’d given her this gift, was so much more. That was the man she knew. The man she craved more than the air she breathed.
“Trust your gut.” Zoey took her hand. “That’s what Mary and Vi would say if they were here. At least, that’s what I figure they’d say. We’re all starting to figure out nothing is black or white when it comes to Kristof. Gage says he’s the most complicated man he’s ever met—even more so than Jud. I’m starting to think he’s right.”
What? Zoey had always been the most outspoken anti-Kristof person at The Arsenal, with good reason. But she was a great friend with a heart of gold who’d obviously seen Addy’s internal struggle. “You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”
“I’m not.” Zoey squeezed her hand. “You’ve got some of the best instincts of anyone I know. You haven’t said much about him, but I know you see more than we do because of whatever history you share. I’m seeing that.” She motioned to the table. “With this. With everything he’s shared. I’m seeing that. Everyone else will too.”
“Hate’s hard to let go of.”
“Not sure hate’s the right word for what everyone feels for Kristof. They love you, Addy. You’re family. It’s like you have a hundred big brothers. I kind of feel bad for Kristof. That’s a big hill to climb.”
“You’re assuming he’s going to climb it.”
Zoey laughed. “I think that hike’s already started. You know it has.”
Addy took a deep breath and picked up the phoenix. “I don’t know why. A part of me thinks it’s not worth the effort. Our worlds are too different.”
“You aren’t a quitter. Don’t pretend for me or anyone else. We’ve got your back.” Zoey touched her arm. “We always have. You’re so busy protecting us you haven’t noticed. It’s not a one-way road.”
She’d been alone so long she couldn’t imagine being in a relationship of any kind, much less one as loving and deep as the ones Mary, Vi, Zoey, Kamren, and Rhea had. Could she have that with Kristof?
Yes.
The immediate response silenced Addy’s doubt.
“You never hesitate to take a stand for what you believe in,” Zoey said.
Her team didn’t like him. They were her brothers, closer than any family she’d ever had. She’d never doubted her abilities to handle any situation, but this wasn’t an op. This was Kristof.
“Talk to me,” Zoey whispered.
Addy took a deep breath and forced the words in her brain out. “I’m scared. I don’t want to fuck things up with my team and all of you. But I…I can’t walk away from what I feel for him without giving it a chance.”
Zoey hugged her tight and pulled her onto the floor. Addy let the tears flow. When was the last time she’d cried around anyone?
“You’re always such a badass I forget that even superheroes have feelings.” Zoey sniffed. “You aren’t going to lose any of us. You know that, right? We love you. You aren’t ever getting away from us.”
But she’d lost her parents and Peter. Hell, she would’ve lost Mary and probably Vi if it hadn’t been for The Arsenal. Talk about an emotional mess.
“Hey.” The booming voice startled Addy. She swiped at her wet face, then glanced over her shoulder as Gage entered the shed. His gaze swept the interior, seeing everything in crystal clarity like he always did.
Working with badasses was a serious pain in the ass.