“That gives you a pretty wide range,” April added.
Heat filled Nessa’s cheeks. She hoped that Jackson thought it was just a flush from hurrying to be ready.
Chapter Sixteen
It’s not a date, Nessa told herself as she fastened her seat belt. If it were a date, he would have opened the door for me, so it’s just two friends who are going to the cemetery to visit their loved ones’ graves.
Jackson waved to Flynn and April and then rolled the window up. “Flynn and April would have been welcome to come along with us.”
“I didn’t invite them,” Nessa said. “I want a little time with Nanny Lucy by myself.” And with you, she added silently.
“I take it that they never did think Miz Lucy was perfect?” he asked as he backed the truck around and headed down the gravel road.
“April didn’t, but she lived there. Flynn might have a little bit, but he’s fighting his own demons. Neither of them thought she was as perfect as I did, though,” Nessa answered.
“The question is, Are you going to get over Miz Lucy falling off her pedestal?” Jackson asked.
“I think so, but it’s not going to be an overnight thing. Have you ever heard that song by Miranda Lambert that talks about ‘the house that built me’?”
Jackson turned south off the gravel road. “Yes, ma’am. I like Miranda’s voice. It’s old country. I’m not much for the new alternative stuff.”
“April mentioned that song when we were talking. The house didn’t really build our parents, but what happened there did, and understanding that helps,” Nessa said. “I’m not making a bit of sense.”
“More than you know.” Jackson drove past Weezy’s and made a right turn toward the cemetery. When they arrived, he parked beside Lucy’s tombstone. “Did you come visit her the last five years? I keep thinking that we should have met before now.”
“I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t come often enough.” Nessa’s eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away. Perhaps if she’d come to see her grandmother more, she would have understood more about her trouble and could have helped her. “Were you at her funeral?”
“Yes, but I stayed close to the back. I saw you and Flynn from a distance, but I didn’t know if you were April or you, or if Flynn was the grandson or your boyfriend,” Jackson answered. “Why didn’t you come around more often? Too far to drive?”
“It’s hard to explain. I loved coming here, liked the peace I felt in the place, but the older I got . . .”—she paused and tried to think of the right words—“it seemed like I was interrupting Nanny Lucy’s lifestyle. An afternoon with me around appeared to wear her out, or even annoy her. We would talk about her quilts, my job, and then she’d begin to look at the clock every five minutes.”
She made a mental note to ask Flynn and April if they’d had the same feeling when they came to visit.
“She was a very private person.” Jackson nodded. “We had Sunday dinner with her pretty often, and then a game of checkers or dominoes, but by midafternoon I got the feeling she was ready for us to leave.”
“Maybe she was afraid she would forget and say something that would reveal her past,” Nessa said. “I feel guilty that I didn’t come more often than I did. Being here was strange. There was peace, but it was sprinkled with angst, if that makes a bit of sense. Nanny Lucy took that uneasy feeling to her grave with her, and that makes me feel guilty, because it’s like I got the peace I wanted at her expense.”
“I understand.” Jackson nodded.
“Thanks for listening,” Nessa said as she opened the truck door and got out. “See you in a little while?”
“Uncle D. J. is over on the other side of the cemetery. Fifteen minutes long enough for you?” Jackson asked.
“For tonight.” She waited for him to drive away before she sat down in front of the stone. Most folks who were buried beside their spouses had one tombstone with both their names on it. Sometimes the stone even had their wedding date etched into the middle of the stone and their children’s names on the back side. Not so with Nanny Lucy and her husband. They were buried side by side, but they had separate tombstones, and now Nessa understood why.
“I know why you didn’t want to share a stone with him, Nanny Lucy.