know who or where anyone was. Now, just like that, I’m getting ready to see my daughter and my friends. I don’t remember what Tasha looks like, but I remember her voice. I’m overwhelmed.” I sat rolling the tissue in my hand.
“You should be. It’s only natural. But it’s going to be all right. Tasha can’t wait for you to show up. Trust me. You’re going to be fine.” Rick came over to me and stood by my side.
He took my hands and pulled me to my feet. I thought about what he said. It’s going to be all right. All right? I hadn’t even dealt with my issues regarding him. He told me everything. He, who had a fiancée and a baby on the way. All right? How could I be all right with him, when I want to keep him all to myself? What was to become of the relationship we once had was still to be determined. What was I supposed to do? Tell him to just up and leave his family? From the little bits and pieces he shared with me, he seemed to be pretty committed. And truth be told, I still had a husband. What was I going to do when I saw Marvin?
It seemed that with each mile we rode in the car, my heart became heavier and heavier. Things were moving too fast. But now that they were moving, I was unsure of everything. Would my daughter be angry with me for leaving her? Would I be able to piece my family back together? And what scared me the most: would I be able to piece my broken self back together? I was in deep thought the entire ride.
“Okay, we are here.” Rick interrupted my thinking as he pulled into the driveway.
“Oh, no. We are here already?” I heard the panic in my own voice.
“Kyra, you’re going to be fine.” He turned off the engine.
I could feel my palms getting sweaty, but when he jumped out of the car, my ass felt as if it was glued to the seat. Just as more panic started to set in, the front door came open, and my daughter yelled out, “Mommy!” She jumped off the porch, and that’s when my body took over. I pushed the car door open, my legs swung around, and I jumped out of the car. “Mommy!” she screamed.
“Aisha!” I ran to meet her, and we hugged, falling onto the lawn. I was kissing my baby all over her cheeks and face. “Look at you! You are beautiful.” We hugged some more, and I was living in the moment.
My daughter said, “I’m sorry I left you, Mommy.”
“You didn’t leave me, baby. Don’t think like that.”
“Yes, I did. I left you, Mommy. I’m sorry.” She began to cry.
“Baby . . .” I couldn’t hold back the tears. She really thinks that she left me. How long had she been carrying that burden on her little shoulders? What if I was dead and gone? “Aisha, Mommy is fine. I love you, I missed you, and we won’t be separated again. I won’t leave you, and you won’t leave me. Do we have a deal?”
“What about Daddy?”
I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I wasn’t going to be lying to my daughter. And for real, at that very moment, I didn’t give a damn if I ever saw his bitch ass again. He’d better hope that I didn’t see him. “I don’t know about your father. We’ve gotta find out what’s up with him. I haven’t heard from him. But for now, you’ve gotta give Mommy some more love. Can I get some more love, girl? Mommy missed you so much!”
Some lady was standing over us with tears streaming down her cheeks. The next thing I knew, she was down on the grass, hugging and squeezing Aisha and me. “Kyra, don’t you ever pull no mess like this again. Do you hear me?” She threatened, even though she was all choked up.
Her voice. “Tasha?”
She leaned back and looked at me. “Yes, it’s me, Tasha. Your bff. Oh my god. You don’t remember me? It’s me, Tasha. I’m the one who stopped you from drowning. Remember we were at—”
“Seaside Heights!” I cut her off. “Tasha!” And then like a movie on fast forward, events with me and her raced through my mind. It was . . . awesome. Then some kids came running out of the house. The boys obviously thought we