Honor Lost (The Honors #3) - Rachel Caine Page 0,6

hard enough to dent something.

“They’ve still got us!” she shouted. “Starcurrent! What are they doing?”

“Pushing us out,” ze replied. “They will not harm us.”

“Sorry if I don’t take your word for that,” she shot back. “The mood in there was not peaceful.”

“No,” ze agreed. The dejected color of zis body hadn’t improved. “I told them that the resurrection of Lifekiller was not our choice—that it was done by Bacia Annont—and that we stand ready to fight. They did not forgive us.” Starcurrent’s tentacles drooped a little more. “My actions are an abomination to my people. I carried Lifekiller beyond the tomb. I made this possible. Without me you might not have succeeded.” Ze hesitated for a long moment. “Better we all had died there.”

Well, that was grim, and I wasn’t going there. We’d broken it. We’d fix it. “Not your fault,” I said.

“I have lost my home. My people.”

“You’ve got us.” I twisted around, though the straps dug in hard. Starcurrent wasn’t even holding on, except with a couple of tentacles. “Starcurrent. You’ve got us. Hear me? We’re your people. We’re your home.” I meant it with all my heart, and ze must have heard it, because ze brightened up just a little. “Now hold on. We don’t know what’s coming, or how bumpy it’s going to get.”

“Yes, Zara,” ze said softly. “I will hold on.”

It occurred to me that Nadim had been remarkably silent this entire time. So quiet that once I realized it, it worried me. So I reached out.

I’m here, Zara, he said. I am never far. I listened. There was nothing else I could do. I sensed his surge of frustration, and with it, a curious little edge of humor. I am not accustomed to being—how did you put it once?—an accessory.

You’re never that, I told him, and let him feel how much I meant it. What do you think? Are they angry at us?

Oh yes, Nadim said solemnly. Very angry indeed. And I believe they consider us almost as dangerous as the one we fight.

Getting back to Nadim was easy enough, as it turned out; the Abyin Dommas released us without a word or signal, and we drifted until Chao-Xing regained control and piloted us back. “Coming aboard,” she signaled him.

“I know,” he said, and yep, there was that edge of amusement again. Despite everything, he still thought things were funny. I liked that about him. Oh, who was I kidding? I liked everything about him. I’d given up thinking I was weird for being all into this. I’d never had a human lover treat me half this well, or interest me half this much.

We touched down in the docking area without even a bump; smooth as glass, that Chao-Xing. She sighed and flexed her hands a little, the only sign of tension she revealed. “I’m heading back to Typhon,” she said. “What’s our plan?”

“Chase Lifekiller,” I said. “What else can we do?”

“I don’t like it. It gives Lifekiller the advantage. There’s a saying in Chinese: Never swallow bait offered by your enemy.”

“Whoever said that probably never fought in space, so I don’t know that he’s got a real informed opinion about this,” I told her. “You come up with a better plan, blast it over. Until then . . .”

She shook her head, probably at my lack of respect for a venerable strategist, but didn’t argue. Starcurrent and I retreated out of the docking bay and into the protected area before it depressurized again, and the Hopper zoomed away toward Typhon.

“Cheer up,” I told Starcurrent. “Your people are alive, and they are seriously pissed off. That’s a good thing. Means they’ll be ready for trouble next time it shows up.”

“You have a unique way of finding the good in a bad thing.”

“That’s me, always upbeat.” Which was hilarious because I’d lived my entire life as a pessimist, and now that we were facing the end of everything, I couldn’t stop looking for upsides. Living on the edge really did suit me.

“Zara?” That was Bea, coming through the communicator. “Better get up here. Now.”

“On my way.”

Hurry, Nadim said. I felt his urgency.

I kicked it hard, with Starcurrent keeping up but—I now realized—struggling in the higher grav we kept on the ship. We should mod that down. I’d just told zim that this was home. We ought to make it feel like that too. It was time to start thinking of Nadim as partner and home. And we all had to feel right here, or it