was in the bathroom yelling at Maggie to hurry up and fix my dress so I could get back to you, when a group of girls came in and repeated what you’d said.” She picks at her nails. “I was crushed.”
If I were an emoji, it would be the one with its head exploding. “So, if I’d kept my mouth shut …”
“I would’ve come back, and things would’ve been a lot different.” She stares at a spot somewhere between the two of us. It makes me think she isn’t only talking about homecoming.
Her explanation is still crashing into every belief I’ve had about that night. I’m not even sure how to begin to think about it differently. I drop my head into my hands. “What a dumbass.”
This time, the sound that comes from her is a little lighter. “I’m not going to argue with you. My parents freaked out. Everything was about what the town thought of them, and that rumor you started was the worst thing you could’ve done to me.”
A groan rips through my vocal cords, and I glance at her through the hair hanging in my eyes. “Tiger—”
“They were livid,” she goes on, like now that she’s started, she can’t stop. “They insisted I get back with Brad. I refused, then they made my life a living hell until I obeyed them a week later. Little did they know, he was a lying manipulator who would use me as an accessory to get what he wanted.” She’s staring at that place in the distance again. “Then again, they probably did know, but since I was already their accessory, they probably thought, why the hell not.”
I reach across the space between us and place my hand on her knee. “I’m sorry, Tiger.”
She sucks a huge breath in through her nose and pulls her hair back from her face. “Thank you, but it was a long time ago. It’s silly for me to still have hurt feelings about it.”
I take my hand off her knee and place my elbows on my legs. “Well if it is, then we’re both silly as goose shit, because I’ve had hurt feelings about you leaving me on that dance floor for the last twelve years.” I snort, but there’s no humor in it. My hand swipes over my face. “I guess I should thank you.”
“Why.”
“Pretty much everything I’ve done and accomplished has been to prove to you that I was good enough.” I cut my gaze to her. “Crazy, huh?”
“Not really.” She goes back to picking at the clear polish on her nails and won’t meet my eyes. “I understand trying to prove something to people.”
My spine straightens, and I cock my head. “No offense, Tiger, but I don’t think you can possibly know what it was like to grow up with people thinking everything about you but the truth.”
Fourteen
Tiger
Do I want to do this with him? I hack away at the last bit of bitterness that I still harbor toward him. It was the boy who hurt me. Not the man who just apologized and showed me his vulnerable underbelly.
“For forever, people have only ever seen this.” I wave my hand in front of my face. “It’s been my value, which is ridiculous. I didn’t do anything to look this way. It’s only an accident of DNA. I actually do have a brain and talents that have nothing to do with twirling a fire baton.”
“I see your point. There’s not a big market for baton twirlers these days. It’s a shame really.”
I pucker my lips to keep from laughing. “I’m serious.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Go on.”
“No, you’re right. I shouldn’t get my panties in a bunch about it, but when you’re constantly dismissed for not having a brain or good ideas, it’s demoralizing.” I smooth the hair from my face. “To get it, you’d have to understand my history with Brad and my parents.”
“What happened there? I could never figure out why you stayed with him.”
The way he’s looking at me and listening, really listening, blows away any lingering reservations I might have about sharing this with him. “After things went so disastrously wrong at homecoming, I pretty much fell in line with what my parents wanted me to do. Brad was one of those things. So were the pageants.” One of my shoulders hitches up, then falls. “I’m ashamed to say it was