Home to Stay (The Long Road Home #2) - Maryann Jordan Page 0,52

up to sit on the bed. “Okay, then it’s breakfast and date planning. That sounds perfect to me!”

She stayed in her sleep shorts and t-shirt, but he pulled on his jeans over his boxers before they moved into the kitchen. While she scrambled eggs and made French toast, she caught him looking around. “I worked on the kitchen and bathrooms first,” she said. “I knew I needed a place to take a shower, and I had to have food.”

“Sounds like your plan was solid.”

“It’s not finished, of course. But it’s functional.” She plated the food and they sat at the table they’d been at before… just before he went silent and then left so abruptly. Staring down at her plate, she wondered if he would turn cold again, and doubt crept over her.

“Hey.” He placed his hand over hers, dragging her attention up to him. “What are you thinking about that put such a frown on your face?”

Lifting her head, she stared at him. Rugged handsomeness stared back, but she could observe concern in his eyes. “I was just wondering what happened before. You know… when you were here, and I thought things were going well, and then you left so quickly.” She watched his shoulders fall slightly and rushed, “You don’t have to tell me. You don’t—”

“No, Lucy, stop. Don’t apologize and backtrack. If we’re starting something, then we need to be honest. You need to be able to ask what you want, and I need to get over my shit and be honest.”

“Oh…” Not able to think of anything to say, she shoved a bite of eggs into her mouth, chewing carefully as she waited to see what else he would say, trying to not be distracted by his naked chest.

“I might’ve spent the last eight months thinking of you as a nice, grandmotherly teacher, but as soon as I saw you in the classroom, I was a goner. I was attracted to you when I saw you in those ridiculous coveralls in the hardware store, mumbling to yourself with your arms full of a crazy-ass assortment of stuff. I didn’t have a clue you were the teacher who’d been writing to me. But you are the same sweet, funny, smart teacher that I had grown to care about, and discovering you were a beautiful, eligible woman made me start thinking that our pen pal friendship could be a lot more. But I just wasn’t in the right headspace.”

She cocked her head to the side, staying silent, curious for what he was going to say yet agonizing because she could see from his furrowed brow how difficult this was for him. Reaching across the table, she placed her hand on his arm.

“No man wants to come to a woman as unemployed with an uncertain future. I was excited to spend time with you, and being in your cottage, seeing what you’re learning to do, I started having thoughts that went beyond just admiration. But I’d spent the last couple of months feeling sorry for myself, hating that I felt that way, and not being able to figure out what to do about it. I’d come home and spent time with my grandfather, helping him around the house, then I come here and discover that you’ve done much of the same type of things with no background and learning from YouTube videos. And while your method might have a bit of madness to it, I can’t deny that you’re getting some things done on top of working full time. I guess I just choked… felt like I had nothing to offer you other than a has-been soldier.”

“Oh, John, I never wanted you to feel that way.”

His fingers linked with hers as he ducked his head so that she was staring directly into his gaze. “Lucy, I know that. It was all on me. You’re nothing but sunshine and light, and I felt nothing but dark anger and frustration.”

“And the job is what makes it different now? Because you’re more than just a job. That’s only part of who you are.”

He leaned back, his lips thinned as he pressed them together. She hoped he wouldn’t shut her out but needed to know if he was ready for something or was going to keep running hot and cold.

“Does it sound like I’m some kind of alpha loser if I said yes?”

Unable to swallow the chortle that flew from her lips, she just shook her head. “What are you talking about? Alpha