Hollow (Heaven Hill Generations #4) - Laramie Briscoe Page 0,77

on our first bike rides with men other than family, and taught us the ways of our bodies before we probably should have been allowed to know.

Now? Now they’re our husbands. The fathers of our children and the hierarchy of our club.

“You two doing okay?” Mom asks as she comes to have a seat beside us. “I remember waiting for Liam and Tyler to come back, it was always gut wrenching, hoping against hope that nothing happened while they were out of mine and Meredith’s sight.”

“It’s definitely different now that we’re older,” I agree. “I think we know what it means to lose the men we love now, when back then we had this air of invincibility around us.”

Charity makes a noise. “Back then, they weren’t so heavily entrenched in our lives either. I mean yeah, they were our boyfriends and we loved them, but they’re so much more than that now.”

“You’ve got a point. They’re fathers, husbands, and role models for others.”

Mom grins. “I’m not even sure when they were younger if I ever thought they’d make it as far as they have. There were hurdles.”

“Um excuse me.” I point to myself. “There have been hurdles even now. Thank God you only have to deal with one kid having one major meltdown at a time.”

Now I can joke about it with the people I love.

A few months ago, I never thought I’d be here. If it hadn’t been for Dalton’s love and Dad’s need to fix everything, I wouldn’t be here. It’s a good reminder to have sometimes. Especially when I think everything is going perfectly.

“You two were good kids.” She pats me on the back. “I always said if I got you two through high school without becoming a grandmother it was a job well done.”

“Then you accomplished what you set out for.”

“Yeah,” she says, a faraway look in her eyes. “But I also wonder about the stuff I didn’t accomplish.”

“What do you mean?” I push, wondering if she has the same type of regrets I do when it comes to my child.

“Everything that’s happened with you the past few months has brought forth a lot of feelings for me too,” Mom rushes ahead. “Please don’t take that to mean I’m making your trauma about me, I promise that’s not what I’m doing.”

“I would never think that’s what you’re doing.”

“Good, this is completely all about you, and I understand it, but at the same time, I have to take responsibility for what I did.”

“You didn’t do anything,” I argue.

“But I did. I expected two thirteen-year-old kids to take care of themselves. I expected you two to understand what was happening, even when I didn’t understand it myself. I leaned hard on the two of you, telling you about issues I had no business laying at your feet.” She doesn’t stop now that she’s started. “For longer than I meant to, I treated you and Drew like equals. Yeah there were things I tried to keep from you both, and sometimes I succeeded. Other times I didn’t even try because I was so damn tired of living the life we were living.” She stops for a second.

“Mom, the life we were living was exhausting. Who I am now, the life you’ve given me, it’s showed me how exhausting our childhood must have been for you.”

“But it was my job to keep all of that from you, and I failed miserably.”

There are so many things I want to say, but she’s not done yet.

“And I’m beginning to understand, thanks to Liam, that both of you felt abandoned. I want you to know…” She wipes under her eyes. “That was never my intention. You were always wanted and loved by me, but I refused to subject you to the man who helped make you. He didn’t want you, and I’m sorry that’s caused issues now. Back then and now, it didn’t feel right to force anything on any of you. Liam was more than willing to take the spot you and Drew so desperately needed, and I let him.”

“I’m glad you let him, we’re blessed to have him in our lives, and I don’t know where we’d be without him.” I hug her tightly. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too,” she whispers in my ear.

As we break apart, I hear the roar of motorcycles coming up the drive, and I’m thankful for each and every thing I have in my life.

More thankful than anything I decided to get out here