Hollow (Heaven Hill Generations #4) - Laramie Briscoe Page 0,1
be honest about it, but being honest, it’s hard. Harder than the thought of actually going through with killing myself.
“Because I don’t love me,” I whisper. “I lost the baby that was supposed to be in that nursery, and in the process, I lost myself. I don’t know how to get the person I was back.”
“Sometimes that’s not possible, Mandy, but you can become someone else. Maybe you’re not the same, but you can still be a version of you that even you can love. We just have some work to do. Are you ready?”
I think of Dalton, of Walker, my mom and dad, Drew. All of them want me to get better, each of them - in their own ways - have tried to support me over the past few months and I’ve thrown their support back in their faces. This isn’t something I need to do just for me, I need to do it for them too.
As much as I’ve been hurt, so have they.
And I haven’t made it any better. If anything I’ve made it worse.
“I’m ready.” I nod. “I’m not promising I won’t backpedal, because I have a history, but I’m willing to put in the work.”
“That’s all I’m asking for. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. In fact, you probably won’t have the answers for a long time, but if you’re willing to work at getting them - we can figure out what’s going on.”
“Yeah.” A grin works its way across my face. “I’d love to know why I’m not normal, why things like this send me into a place I almost can’t come out of. My husband and son deserve it.”
“Okay.” She grins back at me. “This is what we’ll do. Tonight, I need you to write a letter to yourself, explaining how you’re feeling, laying it all out there. Our next session we’ll discuss the letter, and then we’ll move onto some other things. This is a ninety-day program. At some point, I’d like to bring your family in, if that’s okay with you.”
The thought gives me pause. “Not right now, but I’m open to it.”
“Then we’re going to have a good relationship here, Mandy. I look forward to working with you. If you need me for anything, the receptionists know how to get in touch with me. Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
And as I get up to leave, for the first time in a long time, I feel hope.
Hope that I’ll be the woman I used to be - only better.
Chapter One
Dalton
“I can take your shift if you need me to.” Wild reaches over, grabbing a chip from the basket in front of us, dipping it into the queso we all love.
“You have enough shit going on in your life, I can take my shift. I’ll ask Denise to watch Walker,” I argue, grabbing a chip of my own.
It’s only been a few days since Mandy left, but it feels like a few months. I miss her, more than I did when she was at the house and I was at the clubhouse. Back then, I always knew I could go there and check on her if need be. Right now, she’s fifty miles north, and I’m going out of my fucking mind, wondering if she’s okay.
But this is part of the process that will, with any luck, make her better, and if it’s going to bring her back to me, I’ll deal with anything thrown my way.
“How’s Walker doing?” he asks as our plates come to the table.
I lean back, admiring the smoking plate of fajitas in front of me. The two of us don’t normally have lunch together, but when he asked, I accepted. It’s nice to get out of my own head for a while. Eating lunch at the shop has gotten super strange, with everyone not sure what to say to me.
“He’s doing okay. I think we’re both just trying to figure out how this is all going to work. Plus I’m a single parent, which I’ve never been before, so that brings with it some new issues I’ve never had to deal with.”
“If you need someone to watch Walker and you can’t find anyone, Addie and I would love to do it. We definitely need the practice.” He ducks his head down, a small smile playing against his lips.
“Wild? For real?”
He grins, nodding quickly. “We told Tyler, Mer, and Caelin a couple of days ago.”