Holding the Dream Page 0,79

found out she was pregnant, and Laura, she's handling so much and... I was ashamed. That's what it comes down to. I couldn't face it."

And had made herself ill, he thought, with worry and stress and guilt. "Then you got hit at Bittle."

"It didn't seem that it could really be happening. Some sort of cosmic joke. It paralyzed me, Byron. I've never been so afraid of anything, or felt so helpless. Ignoring it seemed the only solution. It would go away, somehow just go away. I'd just keep myself busy with other things, not think about it, not react, and it would get better."

"Some snap," he murmured, "some collapse, and some dig their trenches."

"And I pulled the covers over my head. Well, that's done." In a half-toast to herself, she lifted her glass. "I talked to my aunt and uncle. Instead of making it better, that made it worse. I hurt them. I was trying to explain why I was grateful to her and Uncle Tommy, and I said things wrong. Or I was wrong, and it came out badly. She was so angry with me. I don't remember her ever being that angry with me."

"She loves you, Kate. You'll square this with her."

"She's already forgiven me. Or mostly. But it made me realize I had to face it. All of it. I went to Bittle today."

"Now you're digging the trenches."

She let out a shaky breath at his response. "It's past time I did."

"Now are you going to beat yourself up because you weren't iron woman, because you needed time to pull your resources together?"

The corner of her mouth twitched. She'd been tempted to do just that. Apparently he knew her very, very well. "No, I'm going to concentrate on dealing with now."

"You didn't have to go to Bittle alone."

She looked down at the hand that had covered hers. What made him offer support so easily? she wondered. And what was making her count so heavily on the offer?

"No, I did have to go alone. To prove to myself and everyone at Bittle that I could. I used to play baseball, in school. I was a good clutch hitter. Two out, a run behind, put Kate in the box. I'd concentrate on the feel of the bat in my hands because my stomach would be churning and my knees shaking. If I concentrated on the feel of the ash solid in my hands and kept my eyes dead on the eyes of the pitcher, I'd still be terrified, but nobody would know it."

"Trust you to turn a game into life or death."

"Baseball is life or death, especially in the bottom of the ninth." She smiled a little. "That's how I felt when I walked into Bittle. Two out, bottom of the ninth, and they'd already winged two strikes past me while I stood there with the bat on my shoulder."

"So you figured if you were going to go down, you'd go down swinging."

"Yeah, now you get it."

"Honey, I was a starting pitcher all the way through college. Went All-State. I ate clutch hitters like you for breakfast."

When she laughed, some of his worry eased. She took a moment to sip her wine, study the star-strewn sky. "It felt good. It felt right. Even being scared felt right because I was doing something about it. I demanded a partners' meeting, and there I was, back in the conference room, just like the day they fired me. Only this time I fired back."

She took a deep breath before launching into a play-by-play of what had happened inside the conference room. He listened, admiring the way her voice strengthened, her eyes hardened. Perhaps her vulnerability pulled at him, but this confident, determined woman was no less appealing.

"And you're prepared to deal with the fallout if they press formal charges?"

"I'm prepared to fight and to face all the fallout. And I'm prepared to do some serious thinking about who set me up. Because somebody did. Either because they were focused on me or because I was convenient. But someone used me to cheat the firm and the clients, and they're not going to get away with it."

"I can help you." He held up a hand before she could object. "I've got a feel for people. And I've spent my entire adult life dealing with the intrigues and petty pilfering of a large organization. You're the expert with figures, I'm better with personalities, motivations."

He could see her turning it over in her mind, weighing the