Holden's Resurrection (Gemini Group #6) - Riley Edwards Page 0,98
to my back almost bending me in half with this huge belly in the way. But when the doctor took my hands and guided them to Faith’s body and I got to hold onto her as she came into the world, it was the most amazing experience of my life.”
“I wish I was there,” Holden whispered and fought back the wetness in his eyes.
“I wish you were, too.”
Then Charleigh snuggled closer and told Holden a story he’d never forget. He committed every detail to memory as she gave him an accounting of his daughter’s life. First tooth, when she started to crawl, walk, when she learned to draw, first day of school, all the details he should’ve known. It was exquisite pain, profound and agonizing.
And through it all, she clung to him and he hung on her every word, soaking it in, needing more.
“I want to know her.” Holden cleared the lump in his throat. “I don’t know how we tell her I’m her dad, and if you want to wait, I’ll understand, but I want…” He trailed off, not knowing how to put into words exactly what he wanted. Everything didn’t begin to scratch the surface. He wanted Faith to be the center of his universe, he wanted to be an integral part of her life, he wanted her to need him, he wanted to teach her and learn from her. He wanted to earn her forgiveness and make up for his stupidity. He needed to prove he was worthy of being her dad.
“You’re her dad, Holden, of course we’re going to tell her.”
“I want to be her dad.”
“You are,” she said softly.
“No, Leigh-Leigh, I want to be her dad. I want to be the one to…fuck.” He stopped and cleared his throat again but it was a losing battle.
The emotion consumed him.
“Jesus, fuck!” he roared and wrapped his arms around Charleigh.
He held on as tight as he could, his Leigh-Leigh, his lifeline, was the only thing stopping him from coming apart.
“I wanted her. I wanted her to be mine. You and her were all I thought about. I was dying inside, every fucking day, I was dying thinking that motherfucker was her dad. It ate me up. Why didn’t I—”
“Stop, honey. No good comes from playing that game. We can both lie here and beat ourselves up for all the mistakes we made. Or we can decide right now to put it behind us and move forward. You wanted to fight, Holden, so now we fight for what should’ve been ours. And we do that by letting go of the past because we cannot change that, grab ahold of each other and get up.”
Holden took a breath so big it expanded his chest, and he held it until his lungs protested. Then he exhaled. He did it again and again until he could finally breathe easy. Clean. She was right. There was nothing he could do to change the past—but he could give them a future.
“Let’s get up, Leigh-Leigh,” he agreed.
Before he understood she meant “get up” in a literal way, she unwrapped herself and scrambled off the bed. Once she was on her feet, she held out her hand.
“Come on. I want to introduce you to your daughter.”
Jesus God.
His daughter.
Charleigh didn’t have to ask him twice.
Holden surged off his bed and she let out a squeak when he pulled her into his arms. Her head tipped back, probably to ask him what he was doing. Holden decided to show her. One hand stayed at her hip, the other glided up her back and his fingers curled around the nape of her neck. His mouth slammed down and he said everything he needed to say with a bruising kiss. Charleigh’s hands fisted the material of his tee, and he deepened the kiss, taking it from wet and rough to wild.
This is what forgiveness tastes like.
If he wanted to be the man Faith and Charleigh deserved, he had to forgive himself. He had to live in the now. He had to purge the hatred. And he would, he’d do any-fucking-thing for his girls.
When Charleigh moaned and pressed closer, Holden knew it was time to end the kiss. Satisfaction thrummed through him when she mewed and leaned forward, chasing his lips.
“Baby,” he mumbled against her lips.
“Hm?”
“We have to get out of here,” he said through a smile.
Charleigh pressed closer still, and that felt so damn good he warned, “Time to go.”