Holden's Resurrection (Gemini Group #6) - Riley Edwards Page 0,41

Admitting he couldn’t have children was only the tip of the iceberg. There was so much more, things that Paul had said and done that he’d kept to himself. Only after Chasin and Jameson had spoken with him did Holden understand how deep Paul’s hatred and jealousy ran. He knew the guy didn’t like him, even knew he had a thing for Charleigh. But he never thought Paul was so manipulative he’d take advantage of Charleigh.

It seemed Holden had been wrong about a lot of things.

The little girl’s eyes shot open and Holden’s gaze collided with hers. It wasn’t the first time he’d taken in Faith’s appearance, not even the first time he’d felt relief she didn’t look anything like her father. She was a carbon copy of Charleigh. Only, not as outgoing. Faith was more stoic, like he’d been as a child. But there was something different about this moment. Holden fought back a shiver as Faith stared at him. Assessing, evaluating, judging. He held perfectly still and waited to see if he measured up. The girl was no dummy; she sensed more than Holden wanted her to. In the rare times he’d been around her, she’d always kept her distance. During those times, he’d been grateful Faith hadn’t been friendly with him. Hadn’t wanted to get close or talk to him like she did the others. Now, the thought made him sick. He hated he’d given her reason to be leery around him.

Holden knew he’d never deserve the child’s friendship or Charleigh’s forgiveness, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. He’d worm his way into their lives, fall to his knees and beg, lay himself bare and tell Charleigh everything. He couldn’t live another day without Charleigh knowing the whole truth.

Faith gave Holden a lopsided smile that made his heart constrict and she nodded her head as if she approved of his silent musings. He immediately returned her grin and watched as she nuzzled her mother’s chest. The sight took his breath. Leigh-Leigh and Faith. Mother and daughter. Their love was beautiful—perfect. And he wondered if there was room for him in their circle. Could he fix everything he’d broken? Could he earn a place in their hearts? Did he have that right, or should he settle on friendship? The thought of being nothing more than a friendly “uncle” now felt abhorrent. He wanted to be more.

“Morning, pretty girl.” Charleigh’s sleepy voice filled the room and hit Holden square in the chest.

He hadn’t heard that raspy voice in so long he’d almost forgotten how sexy she sounded first thing in the morning. Only, she’d greeted him with a “Morning, handsome” and the words were normally accompanied by her hand stroking his chest. Charleigh was a maximum contact sleeper; when they were in bed she was always touching him. Hell, even when they were out of bed she liked to be close. Something that Holden loved. Wherever they were, there was no mistaking she was his. And he proudly claimed her. Charlotte Axelson was downright beautiful, but it wasn’t her beauty that had drawn him to her, it wasn’t even her beaming smile. It was simply her. She was beyond explanation—call it her aura, her spirit, her energy, or whatever New Age description, but there was something about Charleigh that drew you into her atmosphere, and once you were there you hoped to God you never fell from it.

He’d been perfectly enthralled until he realized he couldn’t give her the life she wanted. He couldn’t give her a family without heartache and disappointment. If he’d stayed with her, she wouldn’t have a perfect daughter who looked just like her. One she nurtured and grew in her womb. She would’ve never experienced childbirth. Instead, any children they had would’ve come with lawyers, paperwork, social workers, and heartbreak.

What if she wanted more children?

Jesus, the very thought made him break out into a cold sweat. Nothing had changed. Not that he’d been back to a doctor since he’d received the crushing news he’d never be a father, but he still couldn’t give her what Paul had.

Faith mumbled something unintelligible just as the door slowly opened and a nurse appeared.

“Good, you’re awake. My name is Anne and I’ll be taking care of you this morning.” Anne’s gaze went to Faith’s and her smile brightened. “I heard we had a special little angel on the floor this mornin’ takin’ care of her momma. But no one told me how pretty she was.”