Holden's Resurrection (Gemini Group #6) - Riley Edwards Page 0,27
best she was asleep.
“They’ve assured us that she’s stable and her body’s doing what it needs to heal. I called her parents. They’re on their way up. I held off as long as I could but there will be things that doctors will need consent for and her mother had medical power of attorney.”
All sorts of horrible visions invaded Holden’s mind.
“Consent to do what? I thought she was—”
“Slow down, brother,” Nix admonished. “Charleigh’s gonna be fine. But her parents had the right to know. There’s some scans the doctor wants to do, that’s all.”
Holden didn’t believe his friend. There was more going on. However, he was grateful for the temporary lie. He had to push back the fear and find Faith.
“We’re almost there. I’ll be in touch soon.”
He disconnected without thanking Nixon for watching over Charleigh. Separate. I have to keep everything separate, he reminded himself.
“This isn’t the best time to bring this up, but we need to talk about it.”
Holden braced for the onslaught of guilt and anger to explode—part of what he’d been trying to avoid. He couldn’t let his guilt prevent him from accomplishing his mission.
“I’m barely holding on,” he admitted. “And every minute that passes, my fingertips slip closer to the edge. I can’t go there. If I think about Faith, about what I’ve done, the years I’ve wasted, I will not be able to control myself.”
“I think you’re already out of control. That’s why we need to talk about this now. Before we find her and you lose all sense of reality. You’re going to need to keep a tight rein on your anger. Faith cannot see you unleash the beast.”
Jameson was right about that. Faith couldn’t see the type of man he really was.
“You take Faith and get her safe. I’ll handle the rest.”
“No, Holden. You’re taking Faith and I’m handling the rest.”
“James—”
“I know why you left Charleigh.”
It took Holden three long, slow blinks for Jameson’s words to penetrate his brain. He knew? That was impossible.
“You might think you know, but you don’t.”
“I do. You likely don’t remember telling me because you were so trashed it’s a miracle you didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. You came back to my place after Charleigh told you she was pregnant and you started drinking. By the time I got home, you were fucked-up and ready to talk. I’d never seen a man so destroyed. You told me everything, including being a royal dick and sending Charleigh to Paul.” Jameson paused and he let out a long sigh. “Damn, Holden, I tried to talk you around, begged you to let me call Charleigh and stop her so you could explain. I was reaching for my phone, not caring what you wanted, but something you said stopped me.”
“What’d I say?”
“Actually, it was more the way you looked. I’m not trying to unman you right now, but when the toughest brother you know breaks down in tears and pleads with you, it’s hard not to cave. You told me that you wanted it to be yours so badly that you couldn’t witness her carrying Paul’s child. At the time I didn’t get it, I thought there was a chance the baby was yours and I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t want to know. But I did understand you were in extreme pain. I thought I was doing the right thing. I see now, I did wrong. I shouldn’t have let your alcohol-clogged mind make decisions about your future. I should’ve sobered you up and made you talk to her.”
“She can’t be mine,” Holden croaked. “I knew it then, just like I know it now. I can’t have a family.”
“I know that,” Jameson conceded. “You told me what the doctor said, but doctors can be wrong. No matter how slim the chance, you should’ve found out. If she is yours, you’ve lost eight years that you’ll never get back, and you gotta know my part in that weighs heavy.”
It didn’t surprise Holden to hear that he’d told Jameson the truth. He could still remember the day Charleigh had followed him from outside the compound’s gate. He’d spotted her the moment she’d pulled away from the curb. He hadn’t seen her since the night he watched Paul take her home. That hurt, but what hurt the worst was when he told her the week before that he was putting an end to their fucked-up non-relationship and he never wanted to talk to her again. He’d devastated her with his words. Her tears