Holden's Resurrection (Gemini Group #6) - Riley Edwards Page 0,103

was experiencing heart failure now, and I was definitely dizzy. When neither of the two adults in the room spoke—which would’ve been the thing to do, except I was having an out-of-body episode and Holden looked like he was in shock—Faith looked between us, then continued.

“You’ll stay this time, right?”

Holden’s shoulders jerked and his torso followed. Thankfully, we were sitting down or Holden would’ve fallen on his ass.

There was no malice in Faith’s question, just innocent intrigue.

“Yeah, Faith, I’m staying. And, yes, I’m your dad.”

“And that’s why you wanted to look at my books?”

“Yeah. I wanted to see everything I missed. It’s not the same, nothing will ever make up for the time I missed out on being with you and being your dad. But I still want to see the pictures and hear all the stories.”

Faith nodded like she was a thirty-five-year-old woman and she found Holden’s answer acceptable. I, on the other hand, was confused. Unless my daughter had somehow come into magical powers that included mind reading, I wanted to know how Faith knew Holden was her dad. Unless she was just being an eight-year-old girl who wanted a dad however that came to be.

“Why’d you ask if Holden was your dad?” I’d softened my question with a smile, but when my daughter bit her lip I wasn’t sure if I’d succeeded. “Honey, I’m just asking why you’d think he’s your dad.”

“He is, right? And he’s gonna stay with us. He won’t leave this time?” Faith’s voice had gone shrill and her eyes darted around the room.

The eye thing was her tell—when she got upset she didn’t hold eye contact.

“Yes, he’s your dad. What I’m asking is, how did you know?”

When her teeth sank into her lower lip and tears sprang in her eyes, I reconsidered my line of questioning.

“C’mere.” Holden lifted Faith off the couch and set her in his lap. Immediately her little body melted into his.

I wished I had my camera. I wished the situation wasn’t what it was because that would’ve been a great picture to include in Faith’s album.

Daddy and daughter. Faith leaning into Holden looking for comfort.

God, we screwed up.

“Faith, I’m not leaving, no matter what. When I left your mom, I didn’t know…” Holden paused and I held my breath, waiting to see how Holden was going to explain to an eight-year-old the circumstances surrounding him leaving me. But what I didn’t even think about was taking over the conversation. That wasn’t because I was a chicken shit, but because I trusted Holden would do his best. And together we’d answer her questions.

“I didn’t know your mom was pregnant with you. And when she found out I was…” There was another pause, this one longer, this one painful. I swallowed the lump in my throat that was so big it was a miracle it didn’t choke me. Holden had tears in his eyes, then I had tears in mine when Faith reached up and placed her hand on his cheek.

“Are you sad you’re my dad?”

Horror passed over Holden’s face before he covered her hand with his.

Another moment I wished I could capture. The tips of Faith’s tiny fingers were barely poking out from under her dad’s much bigger hand.

“No. I am not sad I’m your dad. I’m sad I missed out on you growing in your mom’s belly. I’m sad I didn’t get to see your beautiful face when you were born. I’m sorry I didn’t know you were my daughter and we missed out on so many years. But, Faith, I promise you I’m gonna make it up to you. I swear, doll, I’m gonna be the best dad. I know this is confusing, but I want you to know I didn’t leave because I didn’t want you.”

“Do I get to live with you?”

“Yes. You and your mom.”

Faith grinned, then her grin turned into a full-fledged smile and she said, “You, me, Mom, and a puppy.”

Holden’s face split into a matching smile and he agreed. But I wasn’t thinking about life with a puppy and all that came with a small, needy dog in the house. No, I couldn’t take my eyes off the similarities between the two of them. All the small things I had shoved aside over the years and eventually stopped looking for altogether. But now that I was free to compare, it was plain to see.

“Aunt Patty said that Mom was stupid,” Faith announced. “She told that man that they were running out of time.