Holden's Resurrection (Gemini Group #6) - Riley Edwards Page 0,100
this proudly and quietly so the kids wouldn’t hear.
Alec’s reaction was immediate and it was so sweet I was taken aback. “Welcome to the best job in the world.”
Holden’s eyes cut to me and his smile said everything. He was happy—truly happy.
I, on the other hand, was terrified—ecstatic but terrified.
Now we had to find a way to tell Faith that the man I’d told her was her father wasn’t and that my ex-boyfriend who happened to be the love of my life was actually her dad. Then I’d have to answer some uncomfortable questions. The uncomfortably of those questions remained to be seen. Thank the good Lord, Faith didn’t know the nitty-gritty of baby-making but she knew just enough to make me dread her inquiries.
“Rhode’s out back on a call,” Alec weirdly said and jerked his head to the side door. “He wants to talk to you before he heads out.”
“Be back,” Holden muttered, and kissed the top of my head before he followed Alec.
I waited until they were outside to ask Macy, “Was that guy-code for we need to talk without the women?”
“Yep. So totally not obvious.” She rolled her eyes. “You doing okay?”
“Yes and no. I’m…overwhelmed. And thank you for taking care of Faith for me. I appreciate it.”
“Alec and I know better than most how hard it is to juggle kids and drama.”
I appreciated Macy’s attempt to lighten the mood. What had happened to her and Alec was more than your average everyday drama. Macy had been beaten up, and later, Rory’s father had taken her without Macy’s permission. Then the little girl watched her Uncle Jonny shoot and kill her father after she watched her grandfather die. Faith’s kidnapping notwithstanding, what was happening to me and Holden paled in comparison.
We were both alive, healthy, and we could change our circumstances. Faith would get to know her dad.
“What’s the ‘no’ part?” Macy asked.
“I’m scared.”
“Of what? Alec told me the story. He wasn’t on Holden’s team, obviously you know that, so he doesn’t know all the details. But from what he said, Holden never stopped loving you.”
“It’s weird because last week I was worried about Holden and me. You know, worried we wouldn’t be able to overcome the past. But now, it’s hard to explain, but I know we’re gonna make it. And it has nothing to do with Paul’s letter because I felt that before we found out Holden was her dad.”
“All of that sounds good so I don’t understand what you’re scared of.”
It didn’t surprise me Macy was confused. Hell, I was confused. I didn’t know how to articulate what I was feeling.
“I’m so bloody angry I could scream. I want to scream. I want Bea and Patty to rot in jail for what they did to Faith. Not just kidnapping her, but keeping her from Holden. I want to slap the shit out of my mother for being such a wretched bitch. I want to do more than tell my dad off for being a worthless father and spineless piece of shit. I’m their daughter. Forget Faith and Holden—me. I’m their only child and they lied to me. They purposefully hurt me. I’m so scared of the hate I feel.”
“Ah.” Macy nodded once. “I understand, and all I can tell you is in time, it fades.”
“How?”
“Every day the anger fades. Every morning when you wake up next to the man you love, it dwindles a little. Every time you see Faith smile, it will retreat. When you see her happy and thriving it goes away more. There will be hundreds of small things, inconsequential things that make the anger and pain diminish. Even after what happened to us, I knew that I’d stop hating Doug. He hurt my kids, he hurt me, he hurt his brother, he killed his father. I hated him and he was dead and I felt cheated that I didn’t get to tell him how much I despised him. But every day, I wake up and remember how blessed I am. I have Rory and Caleb, and Joss and Alec. I have wonderful friends, a nice home, a safe place for my kids. I’m loved, they’re loved, and I think to myself I have it all. And when you are loved so completely, there is no room for hate. Give it time, Charleigh; it fades, and before you know it, it’s gone.”
That sounded like sound advice. It’d give it time and hope Macy was right.