The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot - Alice Winters
One
Leland
“So Jackson—”
“It’s Fiancé,” I interrupt Mason, who gives me a look.
He slow blinks, then turns back to Jackson. “So, Fiancé, one of your clients dropped this off.” Mason, the man who runs the detective agency along with Jackson and me, turns back to me. “Was that better?”
I beam at him. “Much.”
“You do realize that my name hasn’t changed to Fiancé, right?” Fiancé asks, and I feel like this is a trick question so I just give him a sweet smile from where I’m sitting at my desk, my feet on Fiancé’s chair. I like it when he stands anyway so I get a better view of him. When he’s at the desk, he’s all slumped over it like he’s trying for a leading role as a ninety-year-old man. He’s still handsome, though, so I forgive him.
“He’s giving you that look like he’s not listening to a thing you’re saying,” Mason says.
“Ohhhh. Believe me, I know that look far too well,” Jackson says.
“You know nothing. So I’m done for the day. I have PI’d the shit out of all of my clients and have nothing left to do because I’m just that amazing. Say it with me, ‘Leland, you’re amazing.’” No one says it with me.
Jackson leans into my desk. “Do you mind taking my two o’clock then? Mason wants help with something,” Jackson says as he viciously pulls his chair away from my feet.
“So… let me get this straight. I got up early to make sure I was done by noon. You just strolled in here an hour ago and now you want me to do your work?” I ask as I narrow my eyes. “I don’t even need detective skills to see that something smells fishy.”
“Might be the tuna I packed for lunch,” Mason says as he pulls out a sandwich. He’s literally done nothing besides walk in, sit down, and start taking his lunch break.
“It’s a good thing you have money,” I tell him.
Mason looks over at me like he’s confused about what that means but doesn’t care enough to ask—it might require him to use his brain. But it’s thanks to his contributions that this place was able to open up before I came along and tossed money at it.
“I’m… rich? Didn’t know that, but thanks,” he says as he takes a bite. “Want some?”
“No. Not at all.” I turn back to Jackson. “That’s fine, I’ll take the client for you, but you owe me something in return. What time do you need me to probe their brains again?”
“Two. Try not to probe anything. We got a bad review last time you did that,” he says.
I wave him off. “Some people are so sensitive. But we did get that one customer who raved about us underneath their post.”
“That was you using Tucker’s account,” Jackson reminds me.
“Ah shit, it was, wasn’t it?” I like to pretend that I don’t remember this to make us look better than we are.
“That was a good one!” Mason says as he turns to his computer and starts clicking on things. “Here we go… ‘Tucker here. Five huge stars! Best PI place eva! And I’ve been to a lot since my wife hates me! First off, the one man was so handsome I could barely look away, but then I learned that he was already taken, and I could never be good enough for him. I didn’t get to see the second one because his face was buried in his computer game since he thinks the relationships he gains in video games are the best he’ll ever get. And he’s probably right! And then the third man, don’t get me started on how he took my breath away with his amazing detecting skills. A++++, that man was fine.’”
“So helpful,” Jackson says, like the review astounded him.
But I know sass when I hear sass. “Do I hear a hint of sarcasm in your voice?”
Jackson leans back in his chair as he stares at me. “You made us sound like sex workers. You basically spent the whole review talking about our physical attributes and said nothing about our actual business.”
“Huh.” Didn’t think about that. “But I called you handsome.”
He can lie to me all he wants but I see the little smile under that look.
“Jackson, you know you love it. Don’t give me that sass. I promise I’ll be good with your client. I’ll even pretend to be you.”
That strangely makes him concerned. “Please don’t. And Cassel is coming over at some point. He’s going to