His Princess - Stacy Gail Page 0,44
trying to tell you. The moment you turned my own words back on me, I knew I’d fucked up big-time. What really shits me is that I didn’t even believe what I was saying when I was saying it.”
“Then why did you say it?”
“I was trying to downplay your job like a dumbass so you wouldn’t be distracted by it. I wanted all your attention focused on me, and I didn’t give a damn about how I kept it. I’m just as pissed off at myself as you are for acting like a horse’s ass, and I wish to Christ I could un-say every damn word.”
“But you can’t.” She took a breath and tried to find that perspective Alice told her she needed to make sense of it all. “What you can do is find some way to convince me that you’re not just another misogynistic, master-of-the-universe blowhard bent on snagging an empty-headed armpiece that you think doesn’t have any value other than looking pretty in public. For the record, I will never be any man’s trophy, and I won’t allow anyone to diminish me into being that.”
“Good, because the last thing I want is some brainless trophy. If we ever have a daughter, I’m going to want her to know her own value—to have the strength to stand on her own and give the middle finger to anyone who might say otherwise. To be all that, all she’ll have to do is look to you to see what a strong woman actually is.”
It was like a bomb went off in the room, yet somehow she was the only one who heard it. “What?”
“I know.” He nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets as he wandered closer to where she stood. “We just met. You think I’m an asshole. Full disclosure—sometimes I am an asshole. All things being equal, I can’t blame you for looking at me like I’ve lost my fucking mind. But I’m crystal clear on what I see when I look at you, Joelle Fielding. What I see is a future I never thought a man like me could have—a real home. Kids. Being a rock-solid family man.”
“What?” Had he really just said he wanted to be a rock-solid family man? With her?
Maybe he was high.
“It may not happen right away, but I’m good with that,” he went on while her jaw stubbornly remained unhinged. “After this weekend, it’s pretty frigging obvious we need to take our time and get to know each other before we take it to the next level. Here’s the thing, though—I’m not going to take it slow and easy when it comes to telling you where I’m coming from. I’m hoping that by laying all my cards on the table, there won’t be any more screw-ups on my part.”
“Laying your cards on the table?” Her eyes widened, to the point where she wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d popped right out of her head. “What does that mean?”
“It means I’m not going to hide my thoughts or feelings from you. I fucked up yesterday because of that, so the only way to handle life from now on is to be completely honest with you. I wouldn’t have lost your trust if I’d just told you what the hell was in my mind when you said you needed a couple hours away from me.”
“Okay,” she managed, at last getting her mouth to close. “What was in your mind?”
“That I couldn’t stand the thought of you working and not being with me,” he said so grimly she couldn’t decide if it was a beautiful moment or an alarming one. “Not for two hours, not for two minutes. No matter how unfair I was being, I didn’t want the real world to intrude on us for even a second.”
“But that intrusion was going to happen eventually,” she pointed out, trying to understand. “From a rational perspective, you had to have known that.”
“Being rational has nothing to do with me when it comes to you,” came the growling reply. “Understand this now, lady. I don’t just want your body. I want your mind and everything you are. I want to be your every thought, your every wish, your every dream. I want to occupy your every minute of every hour, and every day that you’re on this earth. And I want you to want the same when it comes to me.”
“I… see,” she said faintly, stunned, and all she could think was that she needed a