His Old Lady - Debra Kayn Page 0,87

don't you? I wasn't jail bait. I was never like other girls my age. My life...I grew up fast. I lost everyone and started over with Grandma June, but I was taking care of her by the time I hit high school." She brought his hand up and kissed his knuckles. "My feelings for you were grown up and mature, even if my choices were made on emotions."

He rubbed his lips together and continued gazing away from her. She rolled his ring around on his finger.

"I regret so much with you." Her chest fluttered, hoping for relief. "I'm sad about all the years we've wasted. I wish I could've told you how I was feeling, and—"

"Don't."

She snapped her head up, confused about why he wouldn't want to hear what she had to say.

He pulled his hand away from her and stood, walking out into the field. She stayed on the bench swing as he lit a cigarette and kept his back to her. Walking away when she needed him was such an old Curley thing to do. She thought they were past that.

He'd been the perfect man to her the last several days. Holding her as nightmares ruined her sleep. Making sure she ate and kept hydrated. He excused her from working at Promise and even stayed home with her, letting Tarkio members run the bar.

Most of all, he'd ignored club business for her.

She understood what the bikers meant to him. What wearing the patch meant to him. She'd seen the same loyalty toward Tarkio Motorcycle Club in Uncle Walker.

Shrugging out of the blanket, she walked barefoot toward Curley. Not wanting to pressure him to talk when he closed himself off but wanting to be there for him the way he'd been here for her, she wrapped her arms around him from behind.

She pressed her cheek against his back. His body remained stiff and unbendable. She needed to move on with her life, not only for her sake but for his. What happened with Cal should never have happened. She would never know why Cal went off the deep-end, but looking back, there were warning signs.

Even Angela, Stephanie, and Jenna had noticed Cal's changes toward her and were worried. She'd thought the best thing to do was quit working at the lounge, and that would be enough to stop his infatuation with her. But it hadn't been enough.

It wasn't her that Cal wanted. He'd wanted Celia.

Maybe if he would've gotten help or talked to a therapist, he could've worked through his problems. Curley had shot him to protect her, and if he hadn't, it might've been her who'd killed him. She understood. Now, she had to accept what had happened.

She hoped Curley could, too.

The sun had descended over the ridge, casting shade on the field, though it would be daylight for a few more hours. All the wildflowers had closed their blooms, resting until the sun shined on them again, when they'd show their full beauty.

Plants were much like people; her Grandma June would say. Most start out as nothing, but with love and care, they'd grow and bloom. Loneliness and neglect would kill them.

"There are things I want." Curley rubbed the end of his cigarette between his fingers and pocketed the butt.

She pressed her lips against his back, wanting to hear all his dreams. Focusing on him helped her concentrate on what was important to her.

"I always dreamed of you having greenhouses out here, filled with flowers that were alive and colorful, like you." As quickly as he stopped, he continued. "I'd ride home from the clubhouse, grab a beer, and sit on the deck watching you with your hands in the dirt and your ass in the air."

Her stomach fluttered, imagining doing that for him.

It wasn't the first time he'd brought up her starting the nursery here. She wasn't opposed to it. It would be a dream for her, too.

She was lost in what would happen. Grandma June's house needed to sell. The insurance company still hadn't paid her for the loss of her business.

The cords on his back tightened. "Faye?"

"Hm?"

"Cal Williams wasn't the first man I've killed," he said.

She pressed her forehead against his back and closed her eyes. "I don't want to know."

"Within Tarkio...things happen."

It was hard enough to face what Uncle Walker had done to take him away from her. She couldn't fathom losing Curley. Whatever he'd done, for whatever reason, that was in the past. He would never hurt her. She trusted him more