His Forbidden Love (Manhattan Billionaires #2) - Ava Ryan Page 0,41

I can’t sugarcoat things with Bruce and pretend that the two of us have a chance when I know that we don’t. That’ll only make things worse for him in the long run.

“I don’t think things are going to work out between us, yes,” I say.

“There’s someone else, isn’t there? That’s why you’ve been so distant. Don’t deny it.”

Oh, how I wish I hadn’t just put on my big-girl panties. I really want to deny it. Taking the coward’s way out seems like a mighty seductive option right now. It sure would make my life easier. But I don’t want to be a coward on top of everything else.

“Nothing’s happened, but…yes.”

“Hang on,” he says, and I can almost hear the whirring as his brain puts two and two together and easily comes up with four. “It’s your boss, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I reluctantly admit.

“Wait a minute. Wait one fucking minute. It was him, wasn’t it? The guy you said you were into back during your internship? It was your boss, wasn’t it?”

I cringe, wishing I’d never confided about my battle with depression and the reasons behind it to him. “Bruce…”

“Wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“And you agreed to work for this guy? Right under my nose while I’m living in some other city trying to figure out a way to be with you? Is that what I deserve?”

What can I say? He’s absolutely right. And I’m ashamed of myself.

“I’m so sorry—”

“Save it. Good fucking riddance.”

“Bruce,” I say, but the line is already dead.

I lower the phone and stare at it in my hand, hating myself for the soaring relief I feel now that that difficult conversation is over.

11

Michael

Well, you really screwed that up, champ, my brain jeers at me as I step out of my private elevator into my apartment, click on the lights and toss my keys and wallet onto the foyer console a little while later.

Screwed. That. Up.

How? Let me count the ways.

First off, masturbating in an unlocked bathroom at work? Not a good look.

Second, drinking while upset is never a good idea. So there’s that.

Third, and this is a biggie, I abandoned my moral compass and became exactly the kind of snake I’d hoped never to be. So much for being a good guy and respecting someone else’s relationship. So much for doing the right thing. Yeah, I tried as best I could, but so what? I don’t give myself half credit for trying any more than I’d pat myself on the back for feeding the poor if I ate their dinner on the way to the shelter to serve it to them.

Fourth, spewing feelings while buzzed is also the height of foolishness. Every idiotic college freshman who’s survived his or her first semester has already learned that lesson the hard way. So congrats on being stupider than the average eighteen-year-old, asshole. I didn’t formulate a plan for telling Ally how I feel. Didn’t strategize proposals or next steps. I just opened my mouth and vomited it all up like said idiot college freshman regurgitating shots. As a man who prides himself on his wisdom and tact (I’m the guy that my sister and all my friends turn to when they need a level head and some common sense, for fuck’s sake), I’m shaken and vaguely terrified to discover that I’ve reached this low point where I have so little control over myself where she’s concerned.

Finally and most horrifying? Having made the questionable decision to tell her the truth, I did it in the worst possible way. I didn’t woo her. There was no romance. No finesse. Just me at my gruff worst, barking out non sequiturs about thinking about her and wanting to fuck her.

I mean, seriously, dude? What’s compelling about that? Where’s the game in that? Where’s the skill? Having finally worked up the courage (liquid though it was) to tell Ally how I feel, the very least I could have done would be to put a little sparkle on it. Let her know how truly special I think she is.

But no. I fucked it all the way up. I didn’t just shoot myself in the foot, I pulled out a semiautomatic rifle and blew all my poor toes to smithereens. Then, to close it all out, I told her to go call her boyfriend rather than, say, pleading for her to give me a chance and promising to worship the ground she walks on if she does.

Of course she didn’t react with unrestrained joy and leap onto my lap