because he didn’t need to have this conversation right now. They could talk about Molly once they got out on the lake.
He wiped the table for Elise and sat on the couch with all the siblings while they begged him to look up the videos and things they liked on his phone. His father was very strict with electronics, and Hunter wasn’t surprised that none of them had a phone or a tablet. They’d be lucky if they got either of those things before they became teenagers, and Hunt sure did like holding Deacon on his lap while Jane pressed into his right side and Tucker into his left as they watched a video about a tiny man making tiny food.
“There’s this channel called DIY crafts,” Jane said. “Look that one up, Hunt.”
He typed in what she’d said and showed it to her. “Which one is the best?” With the little boys, she’d get one video on this channel, so she better pick the best one.
“DIY Halloween,” she said. “You have to scroll down…right there.” She settled into his side to watch it, and Hunt could admit he liked the six-minute video about making Halloween treat buckets, costumes, and doing gory makeup.
“All right,” Dad said a while later. “You kids go help Momma. Hunt, I’ve got our stuff loaded for fishing.”
“All right.” Hunt groaned as he got up from the couch, the other kids grumbling about having to do any gardening on the Sabbath, and he tucked his phone in his back pocket.
“You’re going to spoil them with that thing,” Dad said, but he wore a smile.
“Don’t worry,” Hunt said. “I won’t show them stuff all the time.”
They didn’t say much on the way to the lake, and Hunt carried the boat while his dad carried the poles and tackle box. As he launched the boat with his dad in it, he realized that they’d traded positions. It had always been Dad carrying the boat and pushing them out once Hunter had gotten in with their gear.
He rowed too, something his dad had normally done. Hunter’s mind churned, and he didn’t know where to start the conversation. Had his dad felt like this too?
“Nervous about tomorrow?” Dad asked after they’d reached a quiet spot and thrown their lines in.
“Yes,” Hunter admitted. He watched the water where his line disappeared, but it stayed absolutely still.
“I know you don’t want me to say you’ll be fine,” Dad said. “So I won’t. It’s perfectly normal to be nervous about starting a new job.”
“Thanks,” Hunter murmured.
“Are you going to get a place in the city?”
“I was thinking so, yes,” Hunter said, looking up to meet his dad’s eye. “I can’t commute from out here. It’s over an hour each way.”
Dad nodded, his dark eyes still as sharp as ever, despite the gray hair. “No, you can’t. The company owns several condos. You might ask Laura if there are any available.”
“You don’t think I should just buy my own place?”
“That’s up to you,” he said. “You could be at HMC for a long time. Buying might be better than renting.”
“Yeah.” Hunter didn’t have any other big dreams. He just wanted to live a simple, quiet life. “I like the farm, Dad.”
“I know you do.”
“You’ll let me buy it when you and Elise don’t want it anymore, right?” He looked straight into his father’s eyes, hoping he could see the earnestness which ran through Hunter’s veins.
He didn’t seem surprised at all. A smile crossed his face. “If you want it right now, Hunt, you can have it.”
“I don’t need it right now,” Hunter said. “I don’t know what I want my whole life to look like. I just don’t want you to sell it to Jane or Tucker.”
Dad nodded. “They’re not my second family, Hunt.”
“I know that, Dad.” Hunter sighed. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
“Okay,” Dad said his voice pitching up. “I just don’t want you to think I love them more than you.”
“I don’t think that.” Hunter looked away, because yes, sometimes over the past decade, he had felt like that. Lucy said those feelings were normal, and Hunt hadn’t tried to hide them. He hadn’t embraced them either, because he knew they weren’t true. Human beings were simply complicated, and that was why he talked to someone else about how he felt.
Several minutes went by while he tried to untangle his thoughts enough to mention Molly.
“Have you seen or talked to your mother lately?” Dad asked.