His Assistant - Alexa Land Page 0,54

performing by the time we were five years old, and there was constant pressure to improve, to succeed, to land a record deal. We were just kids, but they pinned all their hopes and dreams on us, and they made it clear failure wasn’t an option. We had to make it big, no matter what, and if we didn’t it was because we weren’t trying hard enough. That was a lot to put on us at a young age. I think that’s what made you doubt yourself and turn cautious, and it made me reckless.”

I thought about that as Dallas refilled our glasses, and then he continued, “I know I wouldn’t be where I am today if they hadn’t constantly pushed us. But sometimes I can’t help but think it would have been nice if we’d just gotten to be kids and enjoy our childhood, without feeling like—” He waved his hand, as if to erase what he’d been saying. “Never mind.”

I finished for him, very quietly. “Without feeling like we had to earn their love.”

He nodded. “I hate to sound so ungrateful, and I’d never say any of this to another soul. But you understand what it was like. You’re the only one who does.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“So, maybe that’s why I keep failing at relationships,” Dallas said, “because I never feel like I’m worthy of love.”

I understood that to my core.

Dallas and I ended up spending the rest of the day together. We had dinner and talked for hours, and it felt great to catch up. It wasn’t exactly like old times, but that was okay. It was going to take some time to rebuild our relationship after drifting apart for the past few years, but this was a big step in the right direction.

He drove me back to the house a little before midnight, after messaging his friend Tony and confirming the party had broken up. I wanted to make sure all the chaos and distraction had died down before I tried talking to Harper again.

When we pulled to the curb, I gave Dallas a hug, being careful not to squash the chicken, who was back inside my flannel shirt. “Thank you for today,” I said. “It meant a lot.”

“To me, too. Let’s talk soon.”

“Definitely.”

I climbed out of the convertible and watched as my brother drove away. Then I stalled for another minute and paced back and forth on the sidewalk. I was nervous about talking to Harper. Even though I knew what I wanted to say, I wasn’t sure the words would be there when I needed them.

Finally, I took a deep breath and went inside. Kel was in the living room with all three dogs, and he said, “Hey. I wasn’t sure if you were coming back tonight.”

“I came back to talk to Harper. I broke up with him this afternoon, but I think I made a big mistake.” Kel took Loco from me when I held her out to him, and I asked, “Do you know where he is right now?”

His brow creased. “Yeah, but you’re not going to like it.”

“Why, where is he?”

“He’s on one of the lounge chairs on the pool deck, but he’s not alone.”

A sinking feeling settled in my gut as I crossed the room and pulled back the edge of the white curtain. Sure enough, Harper was where Kel said he was, and curled up right beside him was none other than Dani. I couldn’t see them that well since the lights were low, but Harper had his arm around the model, and Dani was resting his head on Harper’s shoulder.

I let the curtain fall closed, and I turned away from the window and murmured, “He wasted absolutely no time. Just last night, he was holding me like that.”

“I’m so sorry, Phoenix.”

My emotions were a jumble, and I tried to shove them all away as I muttered, “Well, what did I expect after dumping him? Serves me right.” I pushed my hair back from my forehead and looked around. “I don’t know what to do now. I was going to spend the night in one of the guest rooms, but it all just feels so awkward.”

Kel got up and shifted the chicken and the chihuahua in his arms. “Come with me,” he said. “There’s a second bed in my room, and I think you really need a friend tonight.”

I retrieved my suitcase from the coat closet, and the golden retriever and greyhound got up and followed us to the far