His Assistant - Alexa Land Page 0,3
since he never goes anywhere. The gardener, pool guy, and personal trainer already came and went, and the housekeeper is off today, so I guess that’s it.”
Hearing that name surprised me, because as far as I knew, Harper and his younger brother really didn’t get along. I asked, “How long has Hudson been there?”
“A month, I think? He’s recovering from surgery and super grumpy, so everyone tries to give him a lot of space.”
A few minutes later, the guy from roadside assistance arrived. He popped the lock, then frowned at the chickens and asked, “What the hell’s going on in there?”
“Long story.” I handed over a credit card and quickly grabbed the door, before Pox could jump onto the handle and lock me out again.
Kel hurried around to the passenger side and climbed into the SUV, then relocated the chickens into the backseat while the guy handed me my card and a receipt. Once he took off, I started to climb into the SUV, then noticed one of the chickens had crapped all over the driver’s seat. I shot Kel a look, and he said, “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up as soon as we get to the house.”
I took an unread music magazine from my messenger bag and used its pages to line my seat. Once I was behind the wheel, I muttered, “It smells great in here.”
“I’ll fix that, too.”
Fortunately, it only took a minute to drive to our destination. When we pulled up in front, I said, “The dinosaurs are new.”
The house was sleek, massive, and mid-century modern, composed of three offset stories stacked like rectangular building blocks on a huge lot at the end of the street. Beyond it, the land dropped off into a green valley, and the house backed up to the edge of a cliff, which gave way to a panoramic view of Los Angeles. The front yard’s landscaping consisted of cacti and exotic, spiky plants, and it had once graced the cover of a design magazine. That was before Harper added a pair of full-size and disturbingly lifelike velociraptors to the formerly elegant yard.
Once we parked, I helped Kel by capturing the rust-colored chicken and the fluffy one with the pompom on her head, because he had his hands full with Atilla the Hen. Then I followed him through a side gate, which he triple-latched behind us.
While the front of the house showed a lot of restraint, despite the addition of the dinosaurs, the backyard was something else entirely. It looked like a high-end tropical resort with its huge pool, outdoor bar, palm trees, and lush landscaping, but one that had been overrun by a pack of fifth graders. The pool was filled with a giant unicorn raft and so many inflatable toys that I could barely see the water. Off to the right was a six-hole miniature golf course, complete with castle, and to the left past a lush, green lawn was a fenced-off chicken utopia. It included a huge henhouse shaped like a 1950’s-era flying saucer, with a lighted ramp that made it seem like the chickens were being beamed up as they headed into their house.
After we put the chickens in their yard and shut the gate, Kel said, “I’m going to go clean up the poop before it dries onto your car seat. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
He took off at a jog, and I went inside to wash the chicken off my hands. After I got cleaned up, I decided to take a look at the home office, which had been my headquarters when I’d worked for Harper in the past. To get there, I had to climb over a miniature Jeep, which was jackknifed in the long hallway. Most people assumed Harper had kids when they saw all the toys strewn around his home, but no. Like the backyard, this was all him.
The office was exactly how I’d left it. In fact, I didn’t think anyone besides the housekeeper had set foot in that room for the last year. I opened the blinds to reveal the view of the pool deck, then sat down behind the dark wood desk and looked around me.
Every celebrity had a slightly different idea of what they wanted from a personal assistant, but I specialized in basically being an executive secretary. In other words, I managed my client’s schedule, kept them organized, and became a buffer between them and the rest of the world. Once an actor became famous,