he needs to continue the MacIain name. It is my duty to see it done.” The words sank like lead all the way down to her toes.
His face fell as if he’d just lost a battle. “As you wish, m’lady.” He took a step back and bowed. “But know this. I will sail for Dunstaffnage and then Iona on the morrow. If you should want me to carry missives to either of your brothers, I would be happy to personally deliver them on your behalf.”
“I cannot.”
He narrowed his gaze and his lips formed a straight line. “If not for yourself, think of your daughter. If he can raise a hand against you, what will he do to Miss Maggie once she starts laughing and running and playing? Do you want her to live in fear as you do?”
“I-I…” Pins and needles bristling across her skin, Helen curtseyed and fled up the tower stairs.
Chapter Sixteen
After Helen had spent most of the evening holding Maggie to her breast, trying to protect her child from the MacDonald pillagers who had already sailed, Sarah had finally moved in beside her and held out her hands. Helen ignored the nursemaid for a moment. She didn’t want to let go. She couldn’t stop thinking about what could have happened if Eoin and his men hadn’t arrived in time. Would the MacDonalds have killed her and the bairn? Helen never wanted to release Maggie from her arms.
“My heavens, you need your rest, m’lady.” Sarah reached in for the sleeping bairn. “I’ll put her down. You should go find something to eat and then your bed.”
Helen wanted to tell the nursemaid to mind her own affairs. But she relented. As soon as she released Maggie, a cold chill washed over her. She wanted to stay. Only she could protect her daughter. And it seemed the world was against them.
Helen stared as Sarah rested the bairn in the cradle. She’d replayed Eoin’s words over and over in her head: If not for yourself think of your daughter. If he can raise a hand against you, what will he do to her once Miss Maggie starts laughing and running and playing? Do you want her to live in fear as you do?
What would Helen do once Eoin was gone and no one remained who could stand up to the likes of Aleck MacIain?
Numb, she headed down the passageway. She couldn’t eat. On top of everything else, she had killed a man. Her hands shook violently every time she pictured him clutching at the arrow and falling to the ground. No wonder men drink so much whisky. She needed a tot herself just to calm her tremors. Perhaps after a dram she might even be capable of thinking straight.
Helen roamed the passageways of Mingary without direction. Walking invigorated her and she sped her pace. As she paced, her mind honed. She had taken charge of affairs this day because there had been no other choice. And striding through the draughty passageways, she realized she’d achieved one good thing from today’s experience. Confidence.
If I do not take action to gain control over my life, no one will.
Arriving at her bedchamber door, she knew exactly what she must do.
Upon entering, something thudded against the wall. Aleck’s bed.
At first, Helen considered checking on him, but when a woman’s voice moaned, the lady of the keep’s stomach churned.
Let Aleck while away his time with his leman. I will stand for his mistreatment no longer.
She took a seat at the writing table, reached for a clean sheet of velum and inked her quill.
My dearest brother John, His Worship, Bishop of the Isles,
It is with great heartache that I write to you this somber eve, but as Sir Eoin can attest, my situation at Mingary has become untenable…
She omitted nothing, belied nothing. In doing this, she was, in effect, committing treason against her marriage vows and had no illusions that her story must be so infallible, neither her brother nor the Pope would question her plea. She had no doubt that if Aleck discovered she’d written this missive, he would either kill her or lock her in the dungeon until she died. If she were caught, she wouldn’t be alive to protect Maggie, but if she did nothing, both she and her daughter would suffer under Aleck’s yoke of tyranny.
After she signed her name, she sanded the parchment, then folded it and held a red wax wafer to the candle flame. Once she sealed the missive with