the evening meal. Though she immensely enjoyed the company of her family, she remained quiet during the meal. As they settled around the hearth after supper, Duncan asked Elliot for accounts of her childhood.
Escapades she’d long forgotten—some she wished had stayed forgotten—were told. Embarrassed by the wildness of her youth, she fidgeted, wanting to find a place to hide. After an hour of such stories, the evening grew late, and her tolerance for embarrassing tales had been exceeded. Excusing herself, Anna kissed her grandfather and uncle then made for her room, feeling Duncan’s gaze on her.
Chapter 23
Duncan offered his arm. “Allow me to escort ye.”
With a tired smile, Anna accepted his assistance and climbed the stairs of the tower.
“Do ye wish to speak of what disturbed ye during the marriage negotiations?”
She heard in his voice the soft, reasonable tone he used when he knew her to be upset. “I am surprised you noticed.”
He pulled her into an alcove at the second floor landing. “As yer husband, ’tis my job to know when ye are upset and to soothe when I can.”
Anna offered a small smile at the fact her braw Highlander possessed a gentle side. “Part of it is the old fear. You will own me as you do your horse. Though I trust you, I struggle with the notion of being someone’s possession, at the mercy of their whims or mood.”
Smoothing the lines in her brow, he stroked her forehead and hair for a time in silence. “Aye. If I were to be yer chattel, I would feel the same. Ye know I value ye more than my own life, aye? And a wee bit more than my horse.” Humor seeped into his voice.
She smiled and nodded.
“Yes, more than your horse.” But more than your own life? She wished to believe him as strongly as she needed her next breath. The fact remained, she was uncertain. Part of her still believed he would put her aside at some point, or fail to understand and encourage her warrior spirit. She could not bear the thought of losing him or being forced into a role she hated.
“I know ye view our marriage as me taking ownership of ye. In part, ’tis true. However, I see ye as a gift from above, one I dinnae deserve. I am to love and cherish ye, giving up my life, if it comes to it, to protect ye. Some things ye do run counter to those desires. Like charging those men who attacked us by yerself. Ye almost caused my death when ye did. I never want to experience again the feeling of utter helplessness as I stood wounded, unable to protect ye.”
Since he mentioned this before, she knew it was important to him. His eyes hardened.
“My mother said she told ye of my brother.”
Anna nodded.
“’Twas the same feeling when I watched him disappear under the flow of the river. I couldnae bear to lose ye as I lost him.” Unmistakable despair colored his voice. “If I lose my patience or temper with ye, ’twill be because ye make it hard for me to honor my vows to ye and yer family. The tocher yer grandda offers is a symbol of payment for my protection and care. Yer grandda and I had a long talk this morning whilst ye instructed the men. He wished to know the man his only granddaughter chose. He also wanted me to know how precious ye are to him. I made it clear I understood how rare ye are.”
Anna absorbed his words, weighing them against her fears. Hearing him speak of Callum and his sense of loss helped her better understand his need to protect her.
“I do understand and believe what you say. I also recognize the folly of charging a group of men by myself. But you must understand I feel the same about you. I did so to protect you from further harm.”
“What is the rest, then?”
She settled her hands around his waist, nestling her forehead into his neck. She could not tell him the whole nagging fear, so she told part.
“You admire my abilities, but part of you wants me to stay home, tending your keep and raising our children. I fear losing too much of myself in marriage, of coming to resent you over time because of it. Or, I hold onto my independence and have you resent me from worrying about my well-being. Neither of those futures is desirable. I know not how to find