I.”
“You need more than what I can give you.”
“I want you! I can decide for myself.” She’s on edge and angry, but mostly upset. I don’t think either one of us is thinking clearly, but this needs to happen now, before this goes too far.
“I’m your Master! You will listen to me!”
“You need to go home, Katia.” I tell her with a straight face, refusing to acknowledge the gouging pain in my chest. I give her the keys to my car. She can have it. Fuck, she could have it all if she wants. But she needs to go now before I snap and keep her forever.
“No!” she yells at me, and I can’t take it. I grab her waist and pull her body close to me, lifting her off the floor and storming to the stairwell.
“Stop it!” she screams at me. “Isaac, no!” Her body shudders with a sob, and I hate myself. More now than I ever have for hurting her. But I have to. I have to save her. I can’t let her stay with me and ruin her beauty. Her strength. I need her to leave me.
“You have to go.” I try to tell her flatly, but my voice breaks.
“I need you to know how much you own me,” she screams at me, her voice so loud it hurts my ears, but I don’t care. I drag her toward the front door. She hits me, pulling her fist back and slamming it against my chest. I feel a tug and hear a snap of something, but I’m not sure what. My eyes fly to her bracelet, but it’s still intact.
“You can’t throw me out,” she says, pushing me away with no success as we reach the foyer.
“I won’t let you.” Her voice lacks conviction and strength. Tears stream down her face and onto my shoulder, breaking my heart at her pain.
Better now. Better this way. I finally put her down and she stumbles as her feet struggle to find purchase. I swing the front door open.
“Leave,” I tell her, trying to rid all the emotion from my voice.
“I love you, Isaac.” Her voice cracks with emotion.
Hearing those words from her lips almost makes me fall to my knees.
To beg for her forgiveness.
To beg her not to leave me.
I stand there silent, not moving, not responding.
“Please,” she says and her voice shakes, “Please don’t, Master.”
“Go, Katia.” The words are forced from my lips. I’ll only be her Master. That’s all I can promise her. And she needs more. This is the only way I can give her more.
Her beautiful lips part and a huff of disbelief leaves her. The pain still there, but a hint of anger is slipping in. Hold onto that anger, my kitten, it will make this easier.
It takes her a moment to gather herself. Grabbing the keys and walking out the door, but before she leaves for good, she turns to me.
“I won’t stay with someone who doesn’t want me.” Her words are soft and full of pain. Her wide eyes are pleading with me, begging me to tell her everything I selfishly want to say. “Do you not want me?” she says with her composure breaking, tears slipping down her face.
I want so badly to take her in my arms and crash my lips to hers, to brush her tears away and keep her.
But I can’t do that to her.
Not if I truly love her. And I do. I know so strongly in this moment I do.
“No,” I finally say the word. It’s hard to push it out, but once it leaves my lips, it’s done. She turns abruptly, taking in a breath and walking straight to the car. She doesn’t turn around, not once. Even when she’s in the driver’s seat, she refuses to look at me.
My knees threaten to give out as every inch of my skin burns with the need to go to her, to stop her.
I watch her walk away from me.
I watch her leave me.
And I stand there in the doorway, waiting to realize that I’ve done what’s best for her. And this pain is justified.
But it hurts too much.
As I start to shut the door, I see what broke earlier, when I brought her down here while she was fighting me. The chain. My chain. I close the door and bend down to pick it off the floor. The thin silver with diamond cuts shimmers as I pick it up and clench it in my fist.
I
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