Resting her head on his shoulder, she traced the lines of one of his tattoos. Inside the outline of an arrowhead were two black daggers crossed behind a skull with Latin inked beneath it, De Oppresso Liber.
To free the oppressed.
“I get how hard it was for you in Delta Force, losing your friends, having to kill people, the constant pressure, but you never told me why you stayed for twelve years.”
He put his arm around her. “Just because it was tough doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. I believed in the mission, protecting our country, and the army gave me a family that had my back no matter what. That I could count on to pick me up if I fell, to hump me out if I got shot. Honestly, getting booted was harder than the grind of the high-ops tempo.”
“Why?”
“Because I lost my battle brothers and my sense of purpose in one fell swoop. But I, uh... I know there’s a new place for me out there, where I belong,” he said, staring at the ocean, his voice somber.
She gave him a hard, quick kiss, wanting to erase his sadness.
“Promise me something,” he said.
“Sure. What?”
“I hate the way we met, how the universe brought us together with you getting mugged, but I don’t regret finding you, being with you.” He cupped her jaw, brushing his thumb across her cheek. “This feels right. You and me. I want to keep doing this with you, see what’s on the horizon for us, together. For as long as you want. Promise me you’ll remember that.”
She frowned, not understanding what possessed him to say that.
He must’ve read the concern in her face because he rubbed between her eyes with the pad of his thumb, smoothing away her worry lines. “Every relationship has highs and lows. When we hit a low point, I don’t want to lose you. So, promise you’ll remember.”
“Okay. I promise.”
Dutch kissed her nose. “Let’s have dessert.”
* * *
THEY FINISHED EATING, packed everything up and headed for the parking lot. Refusing to let her carry anything, except her tote bag, he managed the surfboard, blanket and cooler on his own.
After he got everything loaded into the bed of his truck, he walked her to her car.
“Hey,” he said, and she stopped in front of her door and looked at him. Dutch wiped her lip and licked the chocolate frosting off his thumb. The gesture was intimate and assuming and she loved it. Dutch reached for her. “Come here,” he said, roping his arms around her. He released a satisfied sigh as if he’d been aching to hold her. “When am I going to see you again?”
Sliding her hands up his bare chest, she appreciated that he was in magnificent shape, tip-top condition as one could get.
She was tempted to tell him tonight, but she was scared. Of how good his muscular body felt beneath her palms. Of how he stared at her with a mix of affection and attraction that made her knees a little weak. Of how the air, charged with desire, stimulated her skin, quickened her pulse. Of how his arousal pressed against her lower belly made her want to explore every inch of him.
“If you come by later, I think we might have sex,” she admitted, her reservations lost in the enthralling deep brown depths of his potent stare.
“Would that be good or bad?”
“Both, I think.” She chuckled. “It wouldn’t be taking things slowly, but the more I’m around you, the more I feel my boundaries slipping away.” Nerves fluttered in her belly and she chewed on her bottom lip.
“I don’t want you to worry about stuff like that. Here’s my promise to you. The possibility of sex is off the table until I meet your uncle.”
Was he serious?
On her first date with Chad, he’d taken her to dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant, they’d had dessert upstairs, drinks on the rooftop. Then he’d taken her home and swept her up in an aggressive tide of sexual energy, where she’d gone with the flow of it rather than drown.
Looking back on it, every time she’d slept with him had been more about survival than passion and she wanted to kick herself for being so easily manipulated. So weak.
One bad decision, one poor choice, and she was paying for it months later.
“Why?” she asked incredulously.
“Intimacy should be earned, and you should be treasured.” He stroked her cheek and gave her a tender, slow kiss.